What will it take or has it taken for us to believe in Jesus as the Messiah?
It's one thing to know that you have something, its a whole different thing to own it, live it, revel in it. I have been given this amazing opportunity to teach at Kettering College. Not everyone who finishes their PhD or any degree for that matter has the option to actually work in the area of their degree. I do. Its a good solid job, with a good solid wage. We live in a wonderful little house that was built in 1898. My wife, who manages bi-polar, is stable and adjusting well. Our beautiful daughter who is about to turn 13, misses her friends back in Michigan, but is doing very well in her new school and is one of the most cheerful people I know. Both treat me with such kindness and grace. My position at Kettering College allows me to teach and has also provided the opportunity to take CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education). I am learning as I teach and deepening in my experience of compassion. I know all of these things, yet...I struggle to own it. Questions of self-doubt, struggles to keep up my energy, a longing to belong in the way that I did in our community in Michigan. We have "arrived" or are getting there...what will it take for it all to be real...for me to believe...
In John 19, we have the story of Jesus being tried, politically railroaded, crucified, and buried. In verse 35 John writes with conviction, this all really happened the one who is writing to you saw it all! I want you to believe! Pilot is confronted with Christ, so much so that John tells us that he fully intends to release him and even works to do so. The Jewish political leaders, however, will not let him step away from crucifying this "enemy of the state." Pilot knows that Jesus is innocent, but he doesn't own it. Instead he washes his hands of it and turns Jesus over to be crucified. The disciples have been with Jesus for 3 years, they know he is the Messiah, but somehow it is only John standing at the foot of the cross. They know it, but they haven't owned it.
John points out the evidences of Jesus fulfilling OT prophecy. In order to fulfill the scriptures, after taking care of the welfare of his mother, cries out that he is thirsty. Sour wine is brought to him, he drinks, and then proclaims it is finished. The savior of the world, the Son of God, gave up his last breath. The soldiers come to finish the job, the break the legs of the other two crucified with Jesus, but finding Jesus already dead - they pierce his side and blood and water flow. John cries out with the conviction that he has seen these things and writes them so that his readers can believe...so that they can own it, as he has.
Only at Jesus' death do Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus come out of the cover of night and ask for Jesus' body so that they can lay him in a tomb. They knew that Jesus was the messiah, but it took his death before they would own it.
What will it take for you, for me...to really believe that Jesus was who he said he was? What will it take in our own lives to not just recognize the things that he has done in our lives, but to own them deeply...powerfully...transformationally? Often, I think, it means saying it out loud for all the world to hear. John wrote what he owned, what he believed. I write it now in this blogpost...owning who Jesus is and what he has done in my life. Confession truly is good for the soul.
May we all not simply know that Jesus is the Messiah and what he has done in our lives...but own it enough to vulnerably proclaim it to all who will take the time to listen.
