Argument with a 5 yr old. (2 Timothy 2)

How many times does our gentle instruction turn to heated argument?

My daughter has been going through one of her independent phases again. She is pushing the boundaries of her sense of control. On my good days I gently instruct her one my bad days I argue with her. Yesterday she says, “I want some apple juice!” I reply in a rather exasperated tone, “we don’t have any.” To which she replies, “Well then make some.” “We don’t have any,” I repeat. “Well then make some,” she retorts. “We don’t have any.” I continue the loop.

All I would have had to do was ask her to come to the freezer and have her look in and see if she could find any apple juice. She would have come to an understanding and a much simply resolution if I had done some gentle instruction with her rather than entering into this no win argument.

I think this is what Paul is getting at in 2 Timothy chapter 2. He tells Timothy twice not to get into arguments over terms and words. He says the conflicts with only lead others astray. Then he mentions one of the topics, which have been argued about. Some have said the resurrection has already come. This seems like a pretty big issue to me. Shouldn’t Timothy stand up against such false teaching?

Paul clarifies a little later by once again telling Timothy not to enter into conflicts and arguments, but if someone disagrees with you to approach them with gentle instruction. The Lord’s servant must not quarrel; he must be kind to everyone, and willing to teach without resentment.

Let’s be honest for a minute. When we get swung at, how many of us can come back with kindness, no resentment, and gentle instruction. Furthermore to leave others to come back to the right conviction in the timing of the Holy Spirit instead of our own. It is so easy to argue, it is so easy to quarrel, especially when you know you are right. When can just go for it when we know we are right, we don’t hold back. “I’ll show him to pick a fight with me, I know I’m right!”

Arguments and quarrels are really all about us. I wanted unquestioned control so I argued with my 5 year old about apple juice. She wanted control so she argued right back. It was all about me. If I had really been thinking of her and the best way for her to understand the truth about our lack of apple juice. I would have taken the time to show her and explain to her we didn’t have anymore apple juice in the freezer. Then she would have come to her own satisfied conclusion.

How many arguments at home, in the church, at work, could be quenched by kindness, teaching without resentment or condescension, and gentle instruction? If we could set aside our own ego and simple think of the best way for the person we are talking to understand, to actually serve the other person, quarrels could be avoided. You can’t argue if no one will argue with you. It just doesn’t really work that way.

May we approach one another with kindness today, thinking always of how we can best serve each other to come to a better relationship and understanding.