I’m not safe for Jesus (John 2)

He did not entrust himself to the people because he knows all men.

So I’m flying back from a great vacation right now. I just visited my family. Dad and I played golf 3 or 4 times we floated the river and I had a great date with my wife. I’m headed back to school back to the books, back to the study of theology, the study of God. Why then do I, the man studying God, find myself fighting my demons again on the plane? My mind and body are so preoccupied with the ache of my own sinful desires I can’t seem to think of anything else.

I open my bible on my iphone searching for some sort of safety some sort of salvation. What do I find? Jesus knows me…he knows us all. In John 2 Jesus turns water into wine, he cleanses the temple, he is giving sign after sign of who he is and the people are beginning to believe in him. His disciples believe at the wine tasting at the wedding and they remember the zeal he is to have for his father’s house has he makes a whip of chords and tosses the temple tables. Many others come to believe in him because of the signs he is doing and yet Jesus doesn’t entrust him self to them because he knows all men.

Jesus knows our thoughts, he knows our hearts, he knows our desires and intentions. Believing in him doesn’t make us safe. Just because I am studying God for my life’s work and I am doing so with full faith in him doesn’t mean that he can entrust himself to me. Why…because my sin still requires the cross. I still need his life for my life. The battle was raging only moments ago in my heart, mind, and body require the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus to set me free. Even though I believe…I am not safe for Jesus.

But he came here anyway.

He knows it wasn’t safe and he came here anyway. The light entered the darkness knowing the world would not receive him, knowing even though some might believe they would still not be safe. Even his disciples abandoned him when he was arrested. But he came anyway.

And he came again today. He came and met with me and gave me strength. He is my refuge I dove into my prayer journal crying out for help as the psalmist did and then help came. The Holy Spirit came and met with me and the void of sin was filled with completeness and wholeness. My desires are peaceful once again.

I am not safe for Jesus…but he comes anyway.

May he come into your life today as well.

Darkness turned into a reason to believe. (John 1)

Why don't you believe?

I am drawn to the book of John. I always have been. I never really understood why until today. I think it is because of John's emphasis on belief, which is tied directly to my struggle with doubt. So many times in my life I have been unsure whether or not I believe in God. Does this whole thing really make sense. Because of that struggle I often see faith or belief as a very mystical thing. I tend to read the Gospel of John as a very mystical book. So other worldly and beyond understanding...so mysterious and ethereal. The strange thing is...John doesn't write this way about belief at all.

In John chapter 1 there is all this seemingly mystical stuff about the word being with God in the beginning and being God in the beginning. Then there is this light that comes to darkness and then the light/word comes to "his own," which is the "world" by the way. They whole world not just those going to synagogue or church every week. The fullness of God and all creation are in Jesus and he makes his dwelling among us. Jesus moves in to the neighborhood. Then John, the author, points out that John the baptist is here to testify about Jesus so that those in the world will believe. If they do believe then they will become the children of God. Ok this all sounds rather mysterious and ethereal.

But John goes on to anchor it all down. John the baptist is told that the one he baptizes who has the Spirit of God descend of him is the messiah. Well Jesus is baptized and down comes the spirit. Then Jesus is cruising along collecting disciples and Phillip goes to find his brother Nathaniel. Jesus tells Nathaniel that he was sitting under a fig tree before Phillip found him and Nathaniel all of a sudden declares his faith in Jesus. Jesus laughs a little at Nathaniel's expense..."You believe because I told you which tree you were under, you will see much greater things than this. You will see angels ascending and descending on the son of man."

Now all of these proofs for belief are rather ethereal in nature, but they are presented as logical proofs. People were told things which then come true. They are offered concrete observable phenomenon to give evidence to their faith. John's whole premise for writing it that the people who read his words might believe. He is presenting signs of evidence.

There are many different reasons for doubt. God doesn't show up when we ask him too. According to John the darkness just didn't understand the light. There are lots of things we don't understand because they are so other than us. Which is where my struggle came in. I choose not to understand because my sin what so other than the light. I didn't really want God to exist because then I didn't have to keep my self in check morally if there was no God. But God saved me from my addiction anyway and my own life became the greatest evidence for me to believe.

I don't know why you don't believe in your moments of doubt. I don't know what it is in your life that is so dark that you just don't understand the light. But I invite you to let God shine in, because he has some evidence in mind for you which you probably just don't understand right now. I still argue with God about his reality and my belief, but he can take it. I still stumble in sin but he still forgives me and low a behold I have yet another evidence to believe.

May God get through to us today...may he turn our darkness into light and give us the very evidence we need to believe.

Yoga and Faith - strengthening your core (Philemon)

Have you ever notice how much stronger you faith is the more your exercise it?

The last 10 days I have been bach'ing it at home with Lorelai while Laura is finishing the recording for her new CD. It has been good enough as time alone goes. I have lots of support and helpful hands to aid in Lorelai's care and haven't felt too burnt out at all. The only real trick I have found is getting in exercise. Laura and I had worked out this system in the evening. One of us would go for a walk once Lorelai was in bed and then the other one would go after that. Well this works great when there are two of you at home. Now that Laura is not home, I can't leave the house once Lorelai is in bed. So what do I do for my exercise time? I was trying to get it done at another time in the day but that just wasn't working. So I did some searching on Netflix and found a yoga workout. I thought well this won't be the same level of exercise I am used to but it will have to do. Well I was right it wasn't the same level it was much, much harder!

The real push with exercise like Yoga is strengthening your core muscles. Those muscles that give you foundation and balance and stability, the muscles that hold your hold body together. It's really hard work!

As I was reading through Philemon there was a phrase that stood out too me. "I pray that you may be active in sharing our faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good things we have in Christ."(Verse 6) This prayer that Paul is offering is a striking one. The idea that when we actively share our faith the fuller our understanding becomes. This is not a strange concept, when I teach something I better understand it. That's simple enough. But let's take this a little bit further, a little bit deeper.

Paul is not telling us to be active in sharing our knowledge, but in sharing our faith. What is faith? Well by definition faith is trust. So we are to be actively sharing our trust with others to fully understand the good things we have in Christ. So many times we think of the christian faith as a foundation of knowledge which we stand on and share. But that really keeps our faith outside of us. Trust has to be at our core. Philosophically postmodernism has rejected foundational-ism, the idea of absolute objective truth which we can stand on. While I am not in favor of rejecting absolute truth, I do see a need to rethink our foundation.

Jesus promises to give us a new heart and a new mind. He offers to give us a new core. He wants to write his laws, his law of love, upon our hearts. He wants to shape our desires. He wants to bring the very center, the very core of our being in line with him. He wants to dwell in our core by the Holy Spirit. Our faith is not so much about a foundation of knowledge to stand on, but a new core of trust growing in strength as it is actively exercised every day. When people see a life of trust in God expressed from our core, through our actions, our love, our words, and yes our knowledge too, they will be drawn to the new remade center of who we are. The core of Christ in us the hope of glory.

May we exercise our faith/trust daily so that this new core will be strengthened bringing us the stability we need of a deeper faith. A faith that holds all the rest of us together. Then we will have a fuller understanding of every good thing we have in Christ.

Live in harmony...but you don't mean him, right? (titus 3)

Have we forgotten where we came from?

I have an issue with saying things I shouldn't when I get too hungry. My blood sugar gets low and I start wanting to tell people just what I think about them. When I'm hungry my thoughts usually aren't very nice. When I was in college I was over at my girl friends house, her roommate came in to fill us in on the date she just had. Well she was really telling my girlfriend. This was talk not intended for male ears. I don't mean in the mushy romantic sense either. It was female locker room talk concerning the physical build of this guy.

We were in the kitchen and I was working on making dinner, so I was getting close to having food in my system, sugar in my blood, and control of my mouth, but I didn't have it yet. I couldn't take it anymore and my not nice thoughts came bursting forth. "I'm sure glad you got your slab of meat for the night, that's all you think guys are!" It got so quiet, she was stung, and I felt like the biggest jerk ever.

In Titus Chapter 3 Paul tells Titus to remind those around him to submit to authority and be obedient. He goes on to say, we also need to live in harmony with everyone and not bring slander against anyone. We are to treat everyone with humility. Why? Because we used to be the same way. We used to be consumed with the lusts of this world, malice, and all kinds of mess.

Paul emphasizes it was only through the kindness, love, and mercy of God that we have been saved, renewed, made clean by the Holy Spirit. In fact the only people Paul tells us to shun are religious people who are stuck in arguments over the law dividing the body of Christ. In other words those who are not living in harmony with those around them. Those who have forgotten that they were forgiven, those who have forgotten where they came from.

Making that kind of comment to my girlfriends roommate that night was sooooo not in harmony and humility especially coming from a guy who has his own issues with purity. I had forgotten who I was, where I came from, and the loving God who had forgiven me.

When I approach God with my sin I do so expecting to find a loving God who will forgive me. This is the God the scriptures teach about and promise we will meet when we confess our sins and even if we are caught in the act. Jesus forgives the woman caught in adultery, he hangs out with prostitutes and sinners. Jesus didn't even have anything to be forgiven for and he was still merciful.

Why shouldn't people who approach me come with the same expectation of kindness, love, mercy, and grace. If I am made in the image of God, forgiven and recreated in the image of God, shouldn't people be able to expect the same from me? Can people come to you with the expectation of finding love and forgiveness?

Today, may we truly learn what it means to be kind, humble, loving, and grace-filled. May we remember were we came from and how far we still have to go as we live in harmony with those around us. 

Stop the world, I wanna get off. (Titus 2)

Do you wish things could just slow down sometimes?

I love Friday nights! I especially love them now that I am back in school. When I was pastoring in my last church I had the wonderful Friday night experience of youth vespers every week. There was a joy there and a rest there as well and I loved creating that space for my students. But now that I am in school again and have Friday nights to myself and my family once again. I have discovered the deep delight of settling in for the night and having time for reflection and a search for God. We really do need this don't we? A time to stop and rest, a sanctuary in time so to speak. When the world just slows down a little. The truth is the rest of the world doesn't really slow down all that muchl. It keeps on spinning. I have found that we can get off the spin cycle if we want to. We can slow down even if everything else does not.

In Titus chapter 2, Paul is encouraging Titus to teach those around him how to have self-controlled lives. He says that when older men and women learn what it means to have self controlled lives then they can mentor those younger men and women around them to have the same. Paul also encourages Titus to live such a life and be an example. He tells Titus to learn how to say, "No!" to worldly passions. What does he mean by the phrase worldly passions or lusts as some translations have it? Is he talking about immorality and sex? Well maybe, the world is pretty sex crazed. But as I thought about it more, the passion of the world seems to have much more to do with getting ahead in live. This might include sex, career, money, the perfect family doing all the perfect things in the perfect SUV, but so busy they never actually see each other.

I wonder if living part of a self controlled life actually has more to do with shaping our priorities enough so we can actually slow down and live. As I slow down tonight I have to say this seems true to me. Sense I have slowed down my activity level and entered into school and study again, I have found time to live deeper and richer. I can still get caught up in school work, but my business has slowed down enough that I can get a restart in the way I look at life. Some things have changed already. I started taking better care of myself physically, eating right and exercising, even attending a health seminar. I have written papers yes, but also found time for an article I have been thinking about for years and I have found time to blog again. Our living expenses have been cut in half and its a good thing we are living more simply.

I know that many of you can't press the reset button on life right now, or at least you feel like you can't. But you can start small. Get off the merry-go-round of the world at least once a week. This is what Sabbath is for. Slow down, breathe, think, pray, and live a little bit better balanced life. Self controlled...hmm...sometimes it takes doing just what the text said. Just...say...no.

No I'm not going to do that extra thing tonight. Sometimes we have to say no in order to be able to say yes to something else.

May we all learn to live self-controlled lives, lives where we can say no, stop, and rest. I pray we would choose to leave the worldly passions behind and live deeper and more richly. Start today, stop right now.

Hey everybody, make me famous!! (Titus 1)

What is the motive behind our desire to inform others of what we know or have found?

It's time for a little reality check for me. Why do I write this blog? Why after writing this blog do I check the stats daily to see how many people have read this blog? Why am I thinking about trying to get this blog published? I had to think about this as I was sending in some samples to a publisher. They wanted to know the purpose of why I wanted to write this book. The answer I gave was to hopefully open the hearts and minds of its readers to the real life application of scripture. To put skin on scripture so to speak. By sharing my life along with the words of scripture I could help people connect faith with life. This sounds like a noble purpose doesn't it? But is this really why? Or am I just trying to create some sort of following for myself and receive a pat on the back and praise for what a talented writer and spiritual person I appear to be.

Titus Chapter 1 really brings this warning out strongly in my heart. Paul writes a comparison in this chapter comparing the type of person who can be an elder (a person of integrity, who takes care of their family and does not seek dishonest gain) and the type of person who has "spiritual" rituals and words but does them for dishonest gain ruining whole households in the process. Paul really goes after these guys who are emphasizing these myths of what will make you holy. He goes so far to say that for those who are pure everything is pure but for those who are corrupt everything is corrupt even their thoughts. You can tell by their actions what kind of men they are. These men who say "spiritual things" and tell others to do them as well, just to gain a following. Even the good things they do are corrupt. So why do we do what we do?

I remember being asked once what I most want to be. The only thing I could come up with was, "a humble man of God." I really didn't know what else to say. This sounds like the perfect kind of political statement for a spiritual leader. But the truth is that is a dangerous desire to have. To be a humble man of God means I will need to be humbled again and again and again...this doesn't mean that I grovel in self pity, but that I take a look at why I am doing what I am doing. To be a humble man of God is to realize the things that I do come from the gifts that he gave me and their purpose is to bring him glory not to lift me up or gain me influence. But to life him up and gain him influence.

May the actions we do today bring God glory. May this be our only hope of gain. Nothing dishonest not using spiritual things for temporal gain, but glorifying God with all that we are and all he has gifted us with.

Research papers and the grand canyon (2 Timothy 4)

Are you longing for anything tonight?

Well the last five days or so I have been alone at home. My lovely wife and precious little girl have gone off gallivanting with my family. Strange I know that they would go and I would stay, but that is they way it works when you are in classes. To tell you the truth I was kind of looking foward to the time alone. Yes I was wishing I could see my family and I've never been to the grand canyon, but I had things that I wanted to get done. You can only get so much work done on a 35+ page papers when you have a wonderful family around to distract you.

So I know the last few days were going to be productive ones, if I could stay on task that is. And I really did quite well I get my whole rough draft punched out which turns out to be about 48 pages so I have done my scholarly duty. But I can tell you there is some definite loneliness setting in. I get to a certain point in the evening and I don't know what to do with myself other than find some sort of show to watch and play stupid apps on my phone. I am really looking forward to picking up my girls from the airport tomorrow.

In 2 Timothy chapter 4 Paul lets Timothy know he is done in. He has fought the good fight he has finished his calling, he has been poured out like a drink offering. Paul is spent he knows he has come near to the end of his ministry here on earth. 2 Timothy is believed to be the last letter Paul wrote before he died. Then paul tells Timothy what he is expecting to come next. He is completely sure there is a crown of righteousness waiting for him to be given him by his faithful judge Jesus Christ. Then he adds this crown is not only for him but for all those who have longed for the return of Christ. There is a work to be done, Paul has done his work faithfully be he longs for his Savior to return and for the work to be finished. This is the assurance of the reward of heaven, the longing to be with Jesus.

I think about the longing I have right now to see my girls, I had work to get done. I have finished it. The time while they were gone was well spent, but I am longing for their return. Now I let the thought sink a little bit deeper. I know I have many years of ministry ahead of my still, but I have to say I am longing for the return of Jesus as well. And...well...according to Paul this sense of longing means there is a crown waiting for me on that day.

Do you long for the return of Christ? Are you tired today? Are you worn out by the strain of life and you would just like some rest? We then be assured there is a crown of righteousness waiting for you to be given by your faithful judge Jesus Christ. You are in his favor and he is longing to place the crown on your head as well.

May we be haunted by a deep sense of longing tonight for the soon return of Jesus on this Easter weekend. He rose again and he has promised he is coming back for us. Let it sink if open yourself up to longing today.