Cory the "playboy?" (John 7)

How much of God do we miss in life?

I remember having a conversation with a girl in high school. I was trying to get to know her a little bit and I found out on senior survival as we talked that I had a reputation that I didn't know anything about. Apparently I had gotten this reputation as a guy who would date someone and then whenever I decided I was finished with them I would simply leave them behind, love them and leave them kind of thing. The strange thing was, I was a marathon dater. As a sophomore the only dating relationship I had lasted 10 months and I was the one who was heart broken and dumped. It was “mutual” of course, we both knew that we were in different places and it was over, but she was the one who was ready for it, not me. And by the time my senior year started I had been dating another girl for more than a year. So love them and leave them wasn't really my M.O. but that was the perception among some of the girls.

This reputation was obviously not based on reality. This girl had never talked with me before, and she obviously had not been observing my actions either. We do this so often, we think we know something about a person and we just go with it, not listening and not seeing we believe what we want to believe because of hearsay or the little box of understanding within which we live.

The same thing is happening in chapter 7 of John. Jesus has been teaching, healing, and acting now for a while and there are those who believe based on these actions and words because they have been listening and seeing.  When the temple guards are sent to arrest Jesus they come back empty handed because they have listened to Jesus and tell the Pharisees, "No one speaks like this man." But the Pharisees, others in the crowd, and even Jesus' own brothers do not believe in him. They are stuck on where Jesus is from. "No prophet comes from Galilee," the council responds to Nicodemus when he tells them that they should listen to what Jesus has to say before judging him. They are unwilling to listen and they choose not to see the works of Jesus as miracles from God because they are outside of their own Sabbath box of understanding.

Jesus tells them that he comes from the Father; he tells them that he is doing the works of his father, and he tells them that he is going back to the Father to a place where they cannot find him, a place where they cannot go. But the deaf and blind minds of the people say he is from Galilee, doing the works of the devil because he heals on Sabbath, and he must be going to the people who are dispersed in Greece or something. There is more to Jesus, there is a need to believe in order to understand. The people who listen to his words and really see his miracles conclude his must be from God, “what more evidence do we need?”

The question for me from this is; what am I missing when it comes to Jesus? What don't I see? What don't I listen too? In what way am I stuck in my perception of who Jesus is? What could Jesus do in my life if I was open to him? Jesus references the man healed on the Sabbath, that his whole body was healed (see previous blog on john chap 6). This man listened to Jesus and followed his words, thus he saw the healing in his life.

May the eyes and the ears of our hearts be opened today so that we may hear with our ears, see with our eyes and turn so that we might be healed.

Belief is Work (John 6)

Is it work for you to believe in Jesus?

It has been for me. My greatest spiritual struggle over the years has been doubt. I have gone into some very dark places in the thought patterns as I think away God. There have been multiple ways and for multiple reasons that I have done this, my own sinful desire for one. If God didn't exist then I could go as far as I liked into a lustful addiction. If there is no God then I don't have to listen to what he has to say. I find at this point in my life by greatest struggle with unbelief is in God's provision. I am back in school once again and this means no income from my side only lots of output. My disbelief manifests itself in worry and uncertainty where rent will come from and then if I am in the right place with doing this whole degree thing. The work of belief has to be done to remember the call upon my life to come to this place.

In John Chapter 6 Jesus does amazing miracles -- he feeds 5000+ people on the hillside, and then he walks on water. And then he has one of the most difficult conversations for his followers. He could have keep the energy going and been made king that day. But instead he uses the great miracle of feeding so many to winnow his true disciples. The people ask him what they must do to be doing the works of God. In verse 29 Jesus answers them that the work of God is to believe in the one whom he sent. The work of God that the people must do is to believe in Jesus. Then he goes on to give them something very hard to believe. "You must eat my flesh and drink my blood." This is the work of belief. Only through this action can his followers abide in him.

Jesus clarifies in verse 63 that he is speaking of the words of life that he is offering to them. They must believe his words, they must believe in him as messiah, they must believe that as he offers his flesh on the cross for all of us that he has done so to save us. The work of God is to believe in the one whom he has sent...to believe in Jesus.

Thanks be that his is the work of God! Jesus also tells the people that those who come to him only do so by being drawn to him by the Father. So this work of belief is not all up to us, it is rather the work of God. He draws us to Jesus all we have to do is surrender.

All I have to do is surrender my sin and those addictive desires and find freedom in Christ. Is this hard? Is this work? Oh Yes, but it is the work of God in me. I must surrender to his provision in my life and do the task, which he has set before me to accomplish believing that he will see me through.

May we surrender to the work of God in our lives today and believe anew in the one whom he has sent...Jesus Christ.

Do you want to be healed? (John 5)

What was the last good idea you actually put into action?

I am a great dreamer. I can dream up new possibilities all day. We could do this and this and the other thing, would that be great!?! But how often do they actually happen? I do this with ministry all the time I also do it with physical health. I could start a new blog that would perhaps help me to loose the rest of the weight that I want to loose, but the amount I have started to put back on. I could start a fitness club or group at the YMCA. I could have an online facebook accountability group. But have a done any of these things? No. Have I lost the weight? No.

Following this line of thought there comes another question: How bad do I really want to loose the weight? Cause if I really wanted to then wouldn't I do these things, wouldn't my thoughts become action? I could just get back on my exercise and eating program and accomplish these goals -- if I really wanted to.

In John Chap 5 Jesus approaches a man who has been lame for 38 years. For 38 years he has been laying by this pool believing that if he could just get in the water when stirred by the angel then he would be healed. Jesus approaches the man and asks him, "Do you want to be healed?" The man responds with an excuse, as most of us do, "I have no one to help me to the water." Was that a yes? Jesus then gives him the chance to make his thoughts a reality. "Take up you bed and walk," says Jesus. And the man does so...he takes up he bed and walks...he has been healed! 

Do we want to be healed? Do we really? Yes I do want to be healed...am I willing to hear the word of Christ and then act upon it? Will I take up my bed and walk? 

This same sort of question is asked of the Pharisees in the rest of the chapter. Jesus challenges them with the reality that they seek the scriptures seeking eternal life and when eternal life is there before them, in Jesus Christ. They don't take the action to believe and accept him. Jesus tells them he will not judge them, but rather it will be Moses, the very one they cling to. Moses wrote about Jesus and they are not accepting Jesus so they we be condemned by the writings which they cling to. It is one thing to talk about ideas it is a whole different think to truly accept them and act upon this with belief in Jesus.

Last night we watched the original "Guess who is coming to dinner." A powerful story in the 1960's when a white girl brings home her black fiancée to me her liberal parents. The question is posed directly to the parents, will they take action on the values that they raised there daughter with and embrace the marriage or will they shrink into hypocrisy? (It's a good movie, you should watch it.)

Jesus, I want to be healed today...Dear Lord I will take up my bed and walk!

Float and Consume the story of my life (John 4)

Do you ever have a ache you just don't know how to fill?

We are on Christmas bread right now, its one of those perks of being back in school. We are visiting my parents and have a nice time with family. Two days ago after a fun filled day of decorating a gingerbread house and playing multiple board games with my sweet daughter I found that I was feeling empty. I told my Dad I was going to go to the store in our little tiny town just to get out of the house for a little while. My usual M.O. in these situations would be to find some fast food restaurant or some snack at the grocery store to console myself. I could tell though that I needed something more. I realized I had not been in the bible or prayer for a couple of days sense coming to my parents house. So I plugged in my phone to the car stereo and began to listen to the book of John. The words I heard were a substance that seemed to fill my ache of spiritual thirst.

In John chap 4 we have to story of Jesus meeting with the Samaritan woman at the well. John tells us that Jesus was weary. There are several times in the gospels where Jesus was described as hungry or tired, he really did become human, he really did get weary. On this occasion he sits down at a well while the disciples go into town to buy some food. This Samaritan woman comes along to draw water and Jesus with all the political incorrectness speaks to this woman…this Samaritan woman. He asks her for some water and then tells her of the living water that he has to offer her as the messiah. She runs off to tell the towns people about Jesus being the messiah and the disciples return with some food. Jesus however has already be refreshed by doing the will of his father. Many believe in that town because of the testimony of the woman, many more believe after hearing Jesus for themselves as he remains there for the next 2 days.

I heard a speaker the other day call out what my life usually looks like. He said that much of our life is spend in floating and consuming. This is especially true of my “free time.” When I am in school or working on some project I am pretty solid, but when I get to these open free times I start floating and consuming. I don’t know what it is I really want out of life. I don’t know how to fill the ache I feel inside. But every once in a while I recognize it for what it is. I have a spiritual thirst for living water that can only be filled by the words of Jesus and doing the will of the one who send me.

Are you thirsty today and you just can’t figure out why? May you come to Jesus and drink deeply from his words of life and find fulfillment in living a life filled with the mission of God.

SEE: Griller sandwiches and the kingdom of God. (John 3)

What are we missing?

In just one week Lorelai will start kindergarten. We have been looking forward to this for a while, the full school day. When I thought about going back to get my doctorate I always thought it would be best to do so once Lorelai had started school. So here we are right on schedule. I got a sudden ache today though for the little girl who comes home at lunchtime and eats her favorite griller sandwich that her daddy made for her. Those days are passing away she is growing up. I realized that I liked this point of view much better then the send Lorelai to school so I can get my work done point of view. I found myself praying that God would help me SEE the moments with my daughter in the light of love rather than the darkness of duty.

In John chapter 3 Jesus has a conversation with a teacher of Israel. Nicodemus comes to him in the middle of the night, cloaked in darkness to ask him some questions about eternal life. Jesus tells him that in order to SEE the kingdom of God he must be born again. Jesus tells him that he is testifying to the things he has seen. Only Jesus has been to heaven and only he can testify to the heavenly things. Unless we are born of the spirit we will be unable to SEE the kingdom of God. Later in the chapter John the Baptist reiterates this point, Jesus is testifying to what he has seen and heard. Jesus is the one who is from above. Without believing in Jesus we will not SEE eternal life.

Jesus goes on to tell Nicodemus that being born again, born of the spirit, it to live in the light. He even defines judgment as rejecting the light in order to live in the darkness. It is pretty hard to SEE in the dark. This life is an awful lot like seeing in the dark. All we SEE is the physical world around us, which is broken and diminished by sin. But Jesus is testifying to that which is above this world, the world of light, eternal life.

Steven Curtis Chapman wrote a song called SEE after losing his little girl. They found a piece of paper she had written on just before she died and it had a flower drawn on it and the word SEE written on it. Steven took comfort in the idea that there was a time coming when he would be able to SEE. All he can see now are the tears of sorrow and the brokenness of this world. But there is a time coming when he would SEE the earth made new, when he would SEE his daughter again, because on February 20^th his little girl had chosen to believe in Jesus and live in the light.

While I also long for the day when I will SEE the kingdom of God fully realized. I know that I want to start to SEE through the goodness of God’s light now. I want to SEE the glowing moments I have with my daughter now. I want to SEE the kingdom of light break through this present darkness at every moment it possibly can in my life.

May we believe in Jesus today so that we can be born of the spirit and SEE the kingdom now in glimpses and then in fullness.

I’m not safe for Jesus (John 2)

He did not entrust himself to the people because he knows all men.

So I’m flying back from a great vacation right now. I just visited my family. Dad and I played golf 3 or 4 times we floated the river and I had a great date with my wife. I’m headed back to school back to the books, back to the study of theology, the study of God. Why then do I, the man studying God, find myself fighting my demons again on the plane? My mind and body are so preoccupied with the ache of my own sinful desires I can’t seem to think of anything else.

I open my bible on my iphone searching for some sort of safety some sort of salvation. What do I find? Jesus knows me…he knows us all. In John 2 Jesus turns water into wine, he cleanses the temple, he is giving sign after sign of who he is and the people are beginning to believe in him. His disciples believe at the wine tasting at the wedding and they remember the zeal he is to have for his father’s house has he makes a whip of chords and tosses the temple tables. Many others come to believe in him because of the signs he is doing and yet Jesus doesn’t entrust him self to them because he knows all men.

Jesus knows our thoughts, he knows our hearts, he knows our desires and intentions. Believing in him doesn’t make us safe. Just because I am studying God for my life’s work and I am doing so with full faith in him doesn’t mean that he can entrust himself to me. Why…because my sin still requires the cross. I still need his life for my life. The battle was raging only moments ago in my heart, mind, and body require the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus to set me free. Even though I believe…I am not safe for Jesus.

But he came here anyway.

He knows it wasn’t safe and he came here anyway. The light entered the darkness knowing the world would not receive him, knowing even though some might believe they would still not be safe. Even his disciples abandoned him when he was arrested. But he came anyway.

And he came again today. He came and met with me and gave me strength. He is my refuge I dove into my prayer journal crying out for help as the psalmist did and then help came. The Holy Spirit came and met with me and the void of sin was filled with completeness and wholeness. My desires are peaceful once again.

I am not safe for Jesus…but he comes anyway.

May he come into your life today as well.

Darkness turned into a reason to believe. (John 1)

Why don't you believe?

I am drawn to the book of John. I always have been. I never really understood why until today. I think it is because of John's emphasis on belief, which is tied directly to my struggle with doubt. So many times in my life I have been unsure whether or not I believe in God. Does this whole thing really make sense. Because of that struggle I often see faith or belief as a very mystical thing. I tend to read the Gospel of John as a very mystical book. So other worldly and beyond understanding...so mysterious and ethereal. The strange thing is...John doesn't write this way about belief at all.

In John chapter 1 there is all this seemingly mystical stuff about the word being with God in the beginning and being God in the beginning. Then there is this light that comes to darkness and then the light/word comes to "his own," which is the "world" by the way. They whole world not just those going to synagogue or church every week. The fullness of God and all creation are in Jesus and he makes his dwelling among us. Jesus moves in to the neighborhood. Then John, the author, points out that John the baptist is here to testify about Jesus so that those in the world will believe. If they do believe then they will become the children of God. Ok this all sounds rather mysterious and ethereal.

But John goes on to anchor it all down. John the baptist is told that the one he baptizes who has the Spirit of God descend of him is the messiah. Well Jesus is baptized and down comes the spirit. Then Jesus is cruising along collecting disciples and Phillip goes to find his brother Nathaniel. Jesus tells Nathaniel that he was sitting under a fig tree before Phillip found him and Nathaniel all of a sudden declares his faith in Jesus. Jesus laughs a little at Nathaniel's expense..."You believe because I told you which tree you were under, you will see much greater things than this. You will see angels ascending and descending on the son of man."

Now all of these proofs for belief are rather ethereal in nature, but they are presented as logical proofs. People were told things which then come true. They are offered concrete observable phenomenon to give evidence to their faith. John's whole premise for writing it that the people who read his words might believe. He is presenting signs of evidence.

There are many different reasons for doubt. God doesn't show up when we ask him too. According to John the darkness just didn't understand the light. There are lots of things we don't understand because they are so other than us. Which is where my struggle came in. I choose not to understand because my sin what so other than the light. I didn't really want God to exist because then I didn't have to keep my self in check morally if there was no God. But God saved me from my addiction anyway and my own life became the greatest evidence for me to believe.

I don't know why you don't believe in your moments of doubt. I don't know what it is in your life that is so dark that you just don't understand the light. But I invite you to let God shine in, because he has some evidence in mind for you which you probably just don't understand right now. I still argue with God about his reality and my belief, but he can take it. I still stumble in sin but he still forgives me and low a behold I have yet another evidence to believe.

May God get through to us today...may he turn our darkness into light and give us the very evidence we need to believe.