So this one is a little out of character. There is no next chapter for me to comment on. I have been watching some episodes of a show called flashpoint. The general story line is of a special response unit of police. So far all of the episodes have been hostage negotiations. But episode 6 of season one is a little different.
There is a girl just trying to make it through life. She is probably 17 years old. He mother is a drunk and she has turned in a lead gang guy for attempted rape. She heads to work at the mall and is pushed around by some girls from the gang. When she goes on break at the mall she is attacked by the same girls in one of the mall bathrooms. They beat her up, chop a bunch of her hair off and then begin to threaten her with guns. One of the girls drops her gun and the victim grabs it shoots one of the attackers and runs out of the bathroom. All the police know is someone is shot, but they begin to pick up the pieces of her story.
It comes down to a final scene of this beaten down girl hanging on the side of the building ready to jump and end it all. A woman on the Police force begins to try to talk her down. She gets closer and closer. Finally she clips in on the railing and climbs out next to the girl.
Out on the railing she affirms this courageous girl for being the survivor she is. She offers her understanding and promises of a stronger better life if she makes it through this. She finally convinces the girl to take her hand. The girl reaches out to take her hand and slips. The officer catches the girl and falls with her to be stopped by the strap she clipped in earlier. The are pulled up to safety battered and bruised but alive and OK.
I got done watching this episode and it occurred to me; this is what we are called to do. Youth workers, Christians, ethical human beings, this is what we are called to do. Find the people who have been pushed to the limit of desperation and reach out to them trying to draw them back. And then when they fall we catch them even if we get bruised in the process.
There are some interesting rules these police negotiators have to follow. They must form a connection with the person. They have to connect. There must be a relationship. In order to create this relationship they can only tell the truth.
Ministry is all about relationships, life is all about relationships. We are who we are based on the people we relate to and the way in which we treat them. We must connect. They bast way to do that is to be honest, to share a story some common ground, some common experience with the person.
The next important part is to recognize what is good in them and call it out. The more we can affirm the strengths in people the more they will want to continue in them.
And then sometimes we just have to be there to catch them when the fall. Clipped in to our own support network so both of us don't fall. We have to let go of the railing and catch them.
Who would you be willing to let go of your own safety in order to catch them?
It was an intense and inspiring moment. I hope we would all be so compassionate.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Argument with a 5 yr old. (2 Timothy 2)
How many times does our gentle instruction turn to heated argument?
My daughter has been going through one of her independent phases again. She is pushing the boundaries of her sense of control. On my good days I gently instruct her one my bad days I argue with her. Yesterday she says, “I want some apple juice!” I reply in a rather exasperated tone, “we don’t have any.” To which she replies, “Well then make some.” “We don’t have any,” I repeat. “Well then make some,” she retorts. “We don’t have any.” I continue the loop.
All I would have had to do was ask her to come to the freezer and have her look in and see if she could find any apple juice. She would have come to an understanding and a much simply resolution if I had done some gentle instruction with her rather than entering into this no win argument.
I think this is what Paul is getting at in 2 Timothy chapter 2. He tells Timothy twice not to get into arguments over terms and words. He says the conflicts with only lead others astray. Then he mentions one of the topics, which have been argued about. Some have said the resurrection has already come. This seems like a pretty big issue to me. Shouldn’t Timothy stand up against such false teaching?
Paul clarifies a little later by once again telling Timothy not to enter into conflicts and arguments, but if someone disagrees with you to approach them with gentle instruction. The Lord’s servant must not quarrel; he must be kind to everyone, and willing to teach without resentment.
Let’s be honest for a minute. When we get swung at, how many of us can come back with kindness, no resentment, and gentle instruction. Furthermore to leave others to come back to the right conviction in the timing of the Holy Spirit instead of our own. It is so easy to argue, it is so easy to quarrel, especially when you know you are right. When can just go for it when we know we are right, we don’t hold back. “I’ll show him to pick a fight with me, I know I’m right!”
Arguments and quarrels are really all about us. I wanted unquestioned control so I argued with my 5 year old about apple juice. She wanted control so she argued right back. It was all about me. If I had really been thinking of her and the best way for her to understand the truth about our lack of apple juice. I would have taken the time to show her and explain to her we didn’t have anymore apple juice in the freezer. Then she would have come to her own satisfied conclusion.
How many arguments at home, in the church, at work, could be quenched by kindness, teaching without resentment or condescension, and gentle instruction? If we could set aside our own ego and simple think of the best way for the person we are talking to understand, to actually serve the other person, quarrels could be avoided. You can’t argue if no one will argue with you. It just doesn’t really work that way.
May we approach one another with kindness today, thinking always of how we can best serve each other to come to a better relationship and understanding.
My daughter has been going through one of her independent phases again. She is pushing the boundaries of her sense of control. On my good days I gently instruct her one my bad days I argue with her. Yesterday she says, “I want some apple juice!” I reply in a rather exasperated tone, “we don’t have any.” To which she replies, “Well then make some.” “We don’t have any,” I repeat. “Well then make some,” she retorts. “We don’t have any.” I continue the loop.
All I would have had to do was ask her to come to the freezer and have her look in and see if she could find any apple juice. She would have come to an understanding and a much simply resolution if I had done some gentle instruction with her rather than entering into this no win argument.
I think this is what Paul is getting at in 2 Timothy chapter 2. He tells Timothy twice not to get into arguments over terms and words. He says the conflicts with only lead others astray. Then he mentions one of the topics, which have been argued about. Some have said the resurrection has already come. This seems like a pretty big issue to me. Shouldn’t Timothy stand up against such false teaching?
Paul clarifies a little later by once again telling Timothy not to enter into conflicts and arguments, but if someone disagrees with you to approach them with gentle instruction. The Lord’s servant must not quarrel; he must be kind to everyone, and willing to teach without resentment.
Let’s be honest for a minute. When we get swung at, how many of us can come back with kindness, no resentment, and gentle instruction. Furthermore to leave others to come back to the right conviction in the timing of the Holy Spirit instead of our own. It is so easy to argue, it is so easy to quarrel, especially when you know you are right. When can just go for it when we know we are right, we don’t hold back. “I’ll show him to pick a fight with me, I know I’m right!”
Arguments and quarrels are really all about us. I wanted unquestioned control so I argued with my 5 year old about apple juice. She wanted control so she argued right back. It was all about me. If I had really been thinking of her and the best way for her to understand the truth about our lack of apple juice. I would have taken the time to show her and explain to her we didn’t have anymore apple juice in the freezer. Then she would have come to her own satisfied conclusion.
How many arguments at home, in the church, at work, could be quenched by kindness, teaching without resentment or condescension, and gentle instruction? If we could set aside our own ego and simple think of the best way for the person we are talking to understand, to actually serve the other person, quarrels could be avoided. You can’t argue if no one will argue with you. It just doesn’t really work that way.
May we approach one another with kindness today, thinking always of how we can best serve each other to come to a better relationship and understanding.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Paul and the Three Musketeers (2 Timothy 1)
Are we people of action?
So last night I broke down and went to see the new Three Musketeers movie. I spent the day studying the book of Acts and was so impressed by the sense of boldness the apostles had in those stories, I wanted to watch something full of courage and action. I was not disappointed. D'Artagnan, Athos, Porthos, and Aramis where full of both. I have been reading the book as well by Dumas. It is impressive to me the way these characters stop at nothing. They just keep going until the task is accomplished or they have been wounded trying. In the book in fact they are all wounded trying. On one of the first adventures to England to retrieve the diamonds from Buckingham first Porthos is wounded, then Aramis is taken in, and finally Athos barricades himself in the cellar to escape those after his life. And yet D'Artagnan rides on, wounds a man in his way and gets to Buckingham and back to Paris with the newly set diamonds in his hand. (A little different from the movie.)
Paul is the same way. He stops at nothing! In 2nd Timothy chap 1 says three times we are not to be ashamed. First to Timothy not to be ashamed of the gospel, then not to be ashamed of him in chains and then once again commending those who have been in support of him as he is in chains they have not been ashamed of him. Most scholars recognize 2nd Timothy as Paul's last recorded letter. He has come to the end of his life and thus the end of his ministry. What is it that has placed Paul in these chains at the end of his life? His bold hope in the Resurrection of Jesus.
The resurrection of Jesus is the proof that he was the messiah all Israel had been waiting for. When confronted by the Jews in Jerusalem Paul exclaims he has been arrested for his belief in the resurrection. Now for one this causes a big argument between the Pharisees who believe in resurrection and the Sadducees who do not. But it is the truth. Paul has put his hope in this Christ, this hope of Israel, this Jesus. The resurrection is the proof of his hope.
Interestingly enough the resurrection is our source of hope as well. Jesus' raising from the dead is the proof the resurrection in the end will come. Not only that, Paul also tells us the resurrection power is available to us today.
I can tell you, I need the resurrection today. I need new life from the spirit flowing into my body and soul today. It is only hope that sustains us some days and with out an anchor for this hope we would be lost. We the anchor however we can move forward boldly and unashamed!
What would it really look like to live our Christianity unashamedly? How would it change the life we live today? Would we with the boldness of the Musketeers leap and hurl ourselves into whatever danger and obstacle might come in order to accomplish our mission? What would it look like to never give up, never surrender for the sake of the gospel. I have a feeling it would look and awful lot like Paul and Jesus before him.
May the hope of the resurrection push us forward today is my prayer and the power of the resurrection, the Holy Spirit, sustain us as we do.
So last night I broke down and went to see the new Three Musketeers movie. I spent the day studying the book of Acts and was so impressed by the sense of boldness the apostles had in those stories, I wanted to watch something full of courage and action. I was not disappointed. D'Artagnan, Athos, Porthos, and Aramis where full of both. I have been reading the book as well by Dumas. It is impressive to me the way these characters stop at nothing. They just keep going until the task is accomplished or they have been wounded trying. In the book in fact they are all wounded trying. On one of the first adventures to England to retrieve the diamonds from Buckingham first Porthos is wounded, then Aramis is taken in, and finally Athos barricades himself in the cellar to escape those after his life. And yet D'Artagnan rides on, wounds a man in his way and gets to Buckingham and back to Paris with the newly set diamonds in his hand. (A little different from the movie.)
Paul is the same way. He stops at nothing! In 2nd Timothy chap 1 says three times we are not to be ashamed. First to Timothy not to be ashamed of the gospel, then not to be ashamed of him in chains and then once again commending those who have been in support of him as he is in chains they have not been ashamed of him. Most scholars recognize 2nd Timothy as Paul's last recorded letter. He has come to the end of his life and thus the end of his ministry. What is it that has placed Paul in these chains at the end of his life? His bold hope in the Resurrection of Jesus.
The resurrection of Jesus is the proof that he was the messiah all Israel had been waiting for. When confronted by the Jews in Jerusalem Paul exclaims he has been arrested for his belief in the resurrection. Now for one this causes a big argument between the Pharisees who believe in resurrection and the Sadducees who do not. But it is the truth. Paul has put his hope in this Christ, this hope of Israel, this Jesus. The resurrection is the proof of his hope.
Interestingly enough the resurrection is our source of hope as well. Jesus' raising from the dead is the proof the resurrection in the end will come. Not only that, Paul also tells us the resurrection power is available to us today.
I can tell you, I need the resurrection today. I need new life from the spirit flowing into my body and soul today. It is only hope that sustains us some days and with out an anchor for this hope we would be lost. We the anchor however we can move forward boldly and unashamed!
What would it really look like to live our Christianity unashamedly? How would it change the life we live today? Would we with the boldness of the Musketeers leap and hurl ourselves into whatever danger and obstacle might come in order to accomplish our mission? What would it look like to never give up, never surrender for the sake of the gospel. I have a feeling it would look and awful lot like Paul and Jesus before him.
May the hope of the resurrection push us forward today is my prayer and the power of the resurrection, the Holy Spirit, sustain us as we do.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
In _______ we trust (1 Timothy 6)
Where does your worry find rest?
I have a little confession to make. When things get stressful in life, in thought life, in pace of life, in cost of life I have found myself taking refuge in T.V. I don't know about you, but sometimes it is so nice to sit down and and just veg for a while. When there is to much worry, when there is too much to do, when you have no money to do anything else, just turn on the TV and turn off your brain. I don't have to worry, I don't have to be doing something else, I don't have to worry about the self control of not spending money, because I'm not anywhere to spend money. I'm just there on my couch in la la land. And we can take entertainment with us anywhere now. With our smart phones we can watch netflix where ever we go. If the signal isn't good enough there are always audio books. This same media could be used to teach us about God to experience him. But do we really use it for that? Really...do you...be honest.
In 1 Timothy chap 6 there is a great deal of counsel about money. Paul exhorts Timothy not to chase after money as a man of God he is to keep himself from these pursuits. Paul goes on to give Timothy instruction to command the rich to place their trust in God not in their wealth. I was having a hard time relating to this idea sense I really don't have all that much money. I don't really feel secure in finances. I do have a hard time sometimes finding what ever creative way I can think of to make ends meet. There are times when I obsess about it and this is a pursuit of money which distracts from placing my trust in God to be sure.
But what I do have is entertainment. What I do have is a couch and a TV. What I do have is food in the fridge, well most days anyway unless I haven't been to the store for a while. When things get stressful I turn to these for sources of comfort and place my trust in them to bring me peace. When finances are hard to come by or the pace of life is just to stressful, I find repose in media. Doesn't the bible say something about God offering us a peace the world cannot understand? So while I might not be looking to wealth of dollars as the support of my life, I do tend to go somewhere other than God for the peace in my life.
The problem of course is that it never satisfies. When the TV is turned off the stress is all still there. There is no lasting peace, it was only a distraction. Paul goes onto tell Timothy to trust in God because he gives us all we need for our enjoyment. To serve others through good deeds and generosity. These are the teachings he is commanded to share with the wealthy.
God can be the source of my enjoyment? Yeah, he can. I can also give generously of my time and do good deeds with the time I would be vegged out with the TV. And in this case I don't think if means do more or make my pace of life more stressful. But rather to find peace and enjoyment in God, a source that will last. To rest in God. I recall a little family getaway to the beach just a couple of weeks ago; walks on the beach and reading a good book, which drew me all the closer to God. Yes I still listened to music and audio books on my walks, but there was a different content in those few days and a deeper peace and enjoyment.
May we find ways to trust God with all different aspects of our lives today. Financially to be sure, but also for peace, rest, and even...enjoyment.
I have a little confession to make. When things get stressful in life, in thought life, in pace of life, in cost of life I have found myself taking refuge in T.V. I don't know about you, but sometimes it is so nice to sit down and and just veg for a while. When there is to much worry, when there is too much to do, when you have no money to do anything else, just turn on the TV and turn off your brain. I don't have to worry, I don't have to be doing something else, I don't have to worry about the self control of not spending money, because I'm not anywhere to spend money. I'm just there on my couch in la la land. And we can take entertainment with us anywhere now. With our smart phones we can watch netflix where ever we go. If the signal isn't good enough there are always audio books. This same media could be used to teach us about God to experience him. But do we really use it for that? Really...do you...be honest.
In 1 Timothy chap 6 there is a great deal of counsel about money. Paul exhorts Timothy not to chase after money as a man of God he is to keep himself from these pursuits. Paul goes on to give Timothy instruction to command the rich to place their trust in God not in their wealth. I was having a hard time relating to this idea sense I really don't have all that much money. I don't really feel secure in finances. I do have a hard time sometimes finding what ever creative way I can think of to make ends meet. There are times when I obsess about it and this is a pursuit of money which distracts from placing my trust in God to be sure.
But what I do have is entertainment. What I do have is a couch and a TV. What I do have is food in the fridge, well most days anyway unless I haven't been to the store for a while. When things get stressful I turn to these for sources of comfort and place my trust in them to bring me peace. When finances are hard to come by or the pace of life is just to stressful, I find repose in media. Doesn't the bible say something about God offering us a peace the world cannot understand? So while I might not be looking to wealth of dollars as the support of my life, I do tend to go somewhere other than God for the peace in my life.
The problem of course is that it never satisfies. When the TV is turned off the stress is all still there. There is no lasting peace, it was only a distraction. Paul goes onto tell Timothy to trust in God because he gives us all we need for our enjoyment. To serve others through good deeds and generosity. These are the teachings he is commanded to share with the wealthy.
God can be the source of my enjoyment? Yeah, he can. I can also give generously of my time and do good deeds with the time I would be vegged out with the TV. And in this case I don't think if means do more or make my pace of life more stressful. But rather to find peace and enjoyment in God, a source that will last. To rest in God. I recall a little family getaway to the beach just a couple of weeks ago; walks on the beach and reading a good book, which drew me all the closer to God. Yes I still listened to music and audio books on my walks, but there was a different content in those few days and a deeper peace and enjoyment.
May we find ways to trust God with all different aspects of our lives today. Financially to be sure, but also for peace, rest, and even...enjoyment.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Lots and lots of sisters (1 Timothy 5)
Honor younger women as sisters, with all purity!
I remember asking a friend of mine when was it that the evil of pornography had become apparent to him. He told me it was when he had daughters of his own. He knew then he would never want someone staring at them from the other side of a computer screen in all the positions and situations he had scene so many other women. As I think about it now I pray my daughter never ever finds herself in any of the pornographic images that have passed through my life.
Don't get me wrong sexuality is created by God and is a holy and wonderful gift to marriage. But is has been distorted so badly through the mess of pornography and the entertainment industry in general. I mean really! God created man in his image, male and female he created them (Gen 1). Shortly after that the bible describes the first marriage of man and woman coming together to be one flesh. (And we know scripture is talking about marriage, because Jesus uses the same phrase when talking about divorce. We also know it is talking about sex, because paul uses the same phrase when talking about uniting yourself with a prostitute. Just in case someone out there is rationalizing.)
Man and woman created in the image of God then uniting in marriage to be one flesh. Oneness is one of God's obvious attributes. The trinity, Jesus' prayer for his disciples to be one with him as he is with his father, Paul says the mystery of oneness has to do with Christ and the Church. When man and woman unite together in oneness this is one of the times they are reflecting the image of God the most. No wonder the Devil wants to distort marital oneness as much as possible.
Ok, let me get off of my soap box for a moment and come back to 1 timothy. Chapter 5 begins with the way we are to treat others. Older men as fathers, young men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters. Paul says a little later in the chapter that not taking care of our family is worse than denying the faith. So we are suppose to take care of our family...and everyone is our family. I don't want to lessen the weight of needing to care for our immediate family that Paul brings out in this passage. I just want to highlight something in light of the previous discussion.
I have heard it said the wake up call for pornography is to realize the woman on the screen is somebody's daughter. It is also true of the men being someones son. They are real people and if we were to place our children in their place we shutter to think of it. This is true!
It is also true that we all are the children of God. And all of those women out there...men...are to be treated as your sisters. And all of those men out there...women...are to be treated as your brother. So if the shutter factor of your children in those situations is not enough or if you don't have children yet. Then perhaps the gross out factor of naked pictures of your siblings will be the wake up call that you need.
I know there is much more that goes into addictions and recovering from them. But let this be perhaps the wake up call to shake you out of the stupor in which you may be stuck in. TREAT YOUNGER MEN AS BROTHERS AND YOUNGER WOMEN AS SISTERS WITH ALL PURITY!!!
OK, I'm done. If anyone is struggling in this particular addiction, please get help. There are good resources out there. And just as Paul later in the chapter admonishes us to care for our families, let's lift one another up in this issue...please...love, support, and accountability are so, so, so important!
Ok, I'm really done now.
I remember asking a friend of mine when was it that the evil of pornography had become apparent to him. He told me it was when he had daughters of his own. He knew then he would never want someone staring at them from the other side of a computer screen in all the positions and situations he had scene so many other women. As I think about it now I pray my daughter never ever finds herself in any of the pornographic images that have passed through my life.
Don't get me wrong sexuality is created by God and is a holy and wonderful gift to marriage. But is has been distorted so badly through the mess of pornography and the entertainment industry in general. I mean really! God created man in his image, male and female he created them (Gen 1). Shortly after that the bible describes the first marriage of man and woman coming together to be one flesh. (And we know scripture is talking about marriage, because Jesus uses the same phrase when talking about divorce. We also know it is talking about sex, because paul uses the same phrase when talking about uniting yourself with a prostitute. Just in case someone out there is rationalizing.)
Man and woman created in the image of God then uniting in marriage to be one flesh. Oneness is one of God's obvious attributes. The trinity, Jesus' prayer for his disciples to be one with him as he is with his father, Paul says the mystery of oneness has to do with Christ and the Church. When man and woman unite together in oneness this is one of the times they are reflecting the image of God the most. No wonder the Devil wants to distort marital oneness as much as possible.
Ok, let me get off of my soap box for a moment and come back to 1 timothy. Chapter 5 begins with the way we are to treat others. Older men as fathers, young men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters. Paul says a little later in the chapter that not taking care of our family is worse than denying the faith. So we are suppose to take care of our family...and everyone is our family. I don't want to lessen the weight of needing to care for our immediate family that Paul brings out in this passage. I just want to highlight something in light of the previous discussion.
I have heard it said the wake up call for pornography is to realize the woman on the screen is somebody's daughter. It is also true of the men being someones son. They are real people and if we were to place our children in their place we shutter to think of it. This is true!
It is also true that we all are the children of God. And all of those women out there...men...are to be treated as your sisters. And all of those men out there...women...are to be treated as your brother. So if the shutter factor of your children in those situations is not enough or if you don't have children yet. Then perhaps the gross out factor of naked pictures of your siblings will be the wake up call that you need.
I know there is much more that goes into addictions and recovering from them. But let this be perhaps the wake up call to shake you out of the stupor in which you may be stuck in. TREAT YOUNGER MEN AS BROTHERS AND YOUNGER WOMEN AS SISTERS WITH ALL PURITY!!!
OK, I'm done. If anyone is struggling in this particular addiction, please get help. There are good resources out there. And just as Paul later in the chapter admonishes us to care for our families, let's lift one another up in this issue...please...love, support, and accountability are so, so, so important!
Ok, I'm really done now.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Tip jars and christianity (1 Timothy 4)
Does what we place in the tip jar say anything about our faith?
As I write this blog in the gloomy morning light of a rainy day in Portland, I'm sitting in a local coffee shop. I walked in today and stepped up to the counter. I ordered my drink and picked out a cheddar bagel. I gave them my card and the slip came back to me with space for a tip. I reflexively crossed out the tip line and left the total unaltered. I mean its just a cup of coffee, it takes them a minute or two and I served myself the bagel. Why would I need to give a tip? I began to think about this as I sat down at my little table and plugged in my laptop.
I was reminded of the Chinese restaurant my wife used to work at when we were in seminary. They had a lunch buffet, a pretty good one too. There was a professor from the seminary who used to frequent the buffet on a fairly regular basis. Laura knew him and greeted him when he came in. When she went into the back of the restaurant the owner pointed out the professor and called him the 52 cent man. Laura gave her a quizzical look and the owner explained. "Whenever he comes in for the lunch buffet he rounds up his check to the nearest dollar which is only 52 cents." This was the whole amount of the tip he left. The owner didn't know who he was, she didn't know he was a professor at the seminary, she didn't know he was a public evangelist who lived his life proclaiming Jesus. All she knew him by was the 52 cents he left as a measly little tip.
In 1 Timothy chap 4, Paul continues to instruct his young mentee in what it means to be a good minister to his community. The chapter finishes with the statement, "Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do you will save both yourself and your hearers." Watch both your life and your doctrine Timothy. Not just your doctrine, not just your life. You have to watch them both. What if Timothy taught the love of Christ and then when he went to his local seafood restaurant and left a 52 cent tip. In the 1st century that might have been a lot, but you get my point.
Jesus lived and taught a life of generosity. Sell all you have and give the money to the poor, if you are commanded to walk one mile carrying a soldiers pack walk two instead, if a man asks for your coat give him your shirt as well. Paul tells Timothy to watch both his doctrine and his life. The two must meet, live together, become one. "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young," says Paul, "but be an example in speech, life, love, faith, and purity. Devote yourself to the teaching and preaching of the word of God." They are both there life and faith enmeshed with one another. Faith and the tip jar are related.
Rob bell has said one of the exhortations in the 1st century was, may the dust of your rabbi cover you. May you be close enough to your rabbi that the dust of his feet covers you. May we walk today covered in the teachings of Jesus. May our life be covered in our faith.
If you would excuse me I have a date with the tip jar.
As I write this blog in the gloomy morning light of a rainy day in Portland, I'm sitting in a local coffee shop. I walked in today and stepped up to the counter. I ordered my drink and picked out a cheddar bagel. I gave them my card and the slip came back to me with space for a tip. I reflexively crossed out the tip line and left the total unaltered. I mean its just a cup of coffee, it takes them a minute or two and I served myself the bagel. Why would I need to give a tip? I began to think about this as I sat down at my little table and plugged in my laptop.
I was reminded of the Chinese restaurant my wife used to work at when we were in seminary. They had a lunch buffet, a pretty good one too. There was a professor from the seminary who used to frequent the buffet on a fairly regular basis. Laura knew him and greeted him when he came in. When she went into the back of the restaurant the owner pointed out the professor and called him the 52 cent man. Laura gave her a quizzical look and the owner explained. "Whenever he comes in for the lunch buffet he rounds up his check to the nearest dollar which is only 52 cents." This was the whole amount of the tip he left. The owner didn't know who he was, she didn't know he was a professor at the seminary, she didn't know he was a public evangelist who lived his life proclaiming Jesus. All she knew him by was the 52 cents he left as a measly little tip.
In 1 Timothy chap 4, Paul continues to instruct his young mentee in what it means to be a good minister to his community. The chapter finishes with the statement, "Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do you will save both yourself and your hearers." Watch both your life and your doctrine Timothy. Not just your doctrine, not just your life. You have to watch them both. What if Timothy taught the love of Christ and then when he went to his local seafood restaurant and left a 52 cent tip. In the 1st century that might have been a lot, but you get my point.
Jesus lived and taught a life of generosity. Sell all you have and give the money to the poor, if you are commanded to walk one mile carrying a soldiers pack walk two instead, if a man asks for your coat give him your shirt as well. Paul tells Timothy to watch both his doctrine and his life. The two must meet, live together, become one. "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young," says Paul, "but be an example in speech, life, love, faith, and purity. Devote yourself to the teaching and preaching of the word of God." They are both there life and faith enmeshed with one another. Faith and the tip jar are related.
Rob bell has said one of the exhortations in the 1st century was, may the dust of your rabbi cover you. May you be close enough to your rabbi that the dust of his feet covers you. May we walk today covered in the teachings of Jesus. May our life be covered in our faith.
If you would excuse me I have a date with the tip jar.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Forsake your family...not so much (1 Timothy 3)
Are we really suppose to forsake our family for the cause of Christ?
In one of the cities I have ministered in, in one of the years I have been in ministry, there was this one evangelist who came to work with our city. We spent a full month helping with the meetings. 5 nights a week I went to the rented hall along with many others to volunteer and help with the hospitality of the event. I remember the end of the event. The evangelist's family came to be with him for the final weekend. Those who had organized the event invited the family up on stage and gave them gifts of thanks for sacrificing their time with their father and husband for the cause of Christ.
While I know the organizers were doing this with the best hearts and intentions something seemed to be wrong in this for me. I knew the tole this month of meetings had taken on my family and the time I had been away even while still going home every night. I couldn't imagine the cost to the family of the evangelist who went on these month long things on a regular basis. It just didn't sit right with me to thank his family for this.
I began to theorize perhaps Jesus had never said to forsake wife and children for his cause. Parents maybe, aunts and uncles OK, but not wife and kids. Well this got blown out of the water when I reread his words. He does include wife and children in this list. I was wondering if I could find support for my feelings in scripture. I have found the balance in 1 Timothy 3.
This chapter is instructions of the qualifiers for serving as an elder or deacon in the church. There are many good principles here and some direct qualifiers. The leaders of the church, which is God's household says Paul, are things like; not given to drunkenness, gentle not violent, not going after dirty money, able to teach, hospitable, etc. In each list for both deacons and elders we also have some statements regarding their families. They must be married to only one person and they must have things in order at home. Their kids need to obey them with respect. If their homes are not in order how can they be leaders in the church.
Initially this might sound like they need to be a little militant at home. Many men have misused this passage to do just that. They have ordered their kids around so they can have order in their homes. Have any of you seen this actually work through the teenage years, or even the preteen years? It might make it for quite a long time as long as the kids are good and afraid of their fathers. But eventually this breaks down. Each child as they grow up needs to learn how to make their own decisions and if they haven't been given the chance they eventually begin to push back. It might even wait until they get to college and then they finally break through. Or it may just be when they get out of the house to go to school. They are respectful at home based on their fear, but they are terrors out side the home.
The other side of this is the absent parents, especially fathers. They are dedicated to their role at the church so much so they don't spend much time with their kids. Their kids eventually begin to seek their absent parents attention in positive or negative ways, whatever will do the job.
From the outside we look and say,"Kids will make their own decisions, this can't be helped." The parents remain as leaders in the church because the fathers can't be held responsible for the sins of their children. It is true we often do the best we can as parents and our kids still decide to do things that are out of control. But whatever the case maybe this isn't a time to be spending less time at home.
To forsake all for the cause of Christ is essential in the choices we make. Jesus was being approached by his family to stop him doing all this crazy messiah business. We must follow Christ above the influence of all others. This does not mean however we forsake the care of our families.
For the leaders of the church to have their homes in order means they are spending time with their families. For their children to truly respect their parents and not fear them they must be loved and cared for. One of the elders I have respected the most is the man who recognized things were getting out of hand at home and pulled back from his leadership role and the cause of Christ at the church for the cause of Christ in his own home.
These words aren't only for the ministry professionals like evangelists, pastors, and teachers. This is for all of us. The deacons and elders in our churches are from all walks of life. It doesn't matter if you are an evangelist or a plumber we have a responsibility to care for our families and only then can we care for the church. We also need to keep in mind the truth that our families are the church, so we have a double reason to take care of our families.
Please don't let this blog load you down with guilt if your children have made other choices than you hoped for them to make. I pray you would instead take this a good excuse to give them call, a hug, or a card to send some love their way. Remember God is great and powerful and he is greater than our efforts can ever be on our own. Place your kids in the hands of a loving Father in heaven today.
I don't know the state of the family of the evangelist I mentioned at the beginning of this blog. He might spend plenty of time with them and have an amazing loving relationship with his kids. I hope so.
It is my prayer today we all might have a loving relationship with our families and children and this same love would extend to our church families and beyond. In case you needed an excuse or a wake up call to spend some time with your family, I hope this blog can be just that.
In one of the cities I have ministered in, in one of the years I have been in ministry, there was this one evangelist who came to work with our city. We spent a full month helping with the meetings. 5 nights a week I went to the rented hall along with many others to volunteer and help with the hospitality of the event. I remember the end of the event. The evangelist's family came to be with him for the final weekend. Those who had organized the event invited the family up on stage and gave them gifts of thanks for sacrificing their time with their father and husband for the cause of Christ.
While I know the organizers were doing this with the best hearts and intentions something seemed to be wrong in this for me. I knew the tole this month of meetings had taken on my family and the time I had been away even while still going home every night. I couldn't imagine the cost to the family of the evangelist who went on these month long things on a regular basis. It just didn't sit right with me to thank his family for this.
I began to theorize perhaps Jesus had never said to forsake wife and children for his cause. Parents maybe, aunts and uncles OK, but not wife and kids. Well this got blown out of the water when I reread his words. He does include wife and children in this list. I was wondering if I could find support for my feelings in scripture. I have found the balance in 1 Timothy 3.
This chapter is instructions of the qualifiers for serving as an elder or deacon in the church. There are many good principles here and some direct qualifiers. The leaders of the church, which is God's household says Paul, are things like; not given to drunkenness, gentle not violent, not going after dirty money, able to teach, hospitable, etc. In each list for both deacons and elders we also have some statements regarding their families. They must be married to only one person and they must have things in order at home. Their kids need to obey them with respect. If their homes are not in order how can they be leaders in the church.
Initially this might sound like they need to be a little militant at home. Many men have misused this passage to do just that. They have ordered their kids around so they can have order in their homes. Have any of you seen this actually work through the teenage years, or even the preteen years? It might make it for quite a long time as long as the kids are good and afraid of their fathers. But eventually this breaks down. Each child as they grow up needs to learn how to make their own decisions and if they haven't been given the chance they eventually begin to push back. It might even wait until they get to college and then they finally break through. Or it may just be when they get out of the house to go to school. They are respectful at home based on their fear, but they are terrors out side the home.
The other side of this is the absent parents, especially fathers. They are dedicated to their role at the church so much so they don't spend much time with their kids. Their kids eventually begin to seek their absent parents attention in positive or negative ways, whatever will do the job.
From the outside we look and say,"Kids will make their own decisions, this can't be helped." The parents remain as leaders in the church because the fathers can't be held responsible for the sins of their children. It is true we often do the best we can as parents and our kids still decide to do things that are out of control. But whatever the case maybe this isn't a time to be spending less time at home.
To forsake all for the cause of Christ is essential in the choices we make. Jesus was being approached by his family to stop him doing all this crazy messiah business. We must follow Christ above the influence of all others. This does not mean however we forsake the care of our families.
For the leaders of the church to have their homes in order means they are spending time with their families. For their children to truly respect their parents and not fear them they must be loved and cared for. One of the elders I have respected the most is the man who recognized things were getting out of hand at home and pulled back from his leadership role and the cause of Christ at the church for the cause of Christ in his own home.
These words aren't only for the ministry professionals like evangelists, pastors, and teachers. This is for all of us. The deacons and elders in our churches are from all walks of life. It doesn't matter if you are an evangelist or a plumber we have a responsibility to care for our families and only then can we care for the church. We also need to keep in mind the truth that our families are the church, so we have a double reason to take care of our families.
Please don't let this blog load you down with guilt if your children have made other choices than you hoped for them to make. I pray you would instead take this a good excuse to give them call, a hug, or a card to send some love their way. Remember God is great and powerful and he is greater than our efforts can ever be on our own. Place your kids in the hands of a loving Father in heaven today.
I don't know the state of the family of the evangelist I mentioned at the beginning of this blog. He might spend plenty of time with them and have an amazing loving relationship with his kids. I hope so.
It is my prayer today we all might have a loving relationship with our families and children and this same love would extend to our church families and beyond. In case you needed an excuse or a wake up call to spend some time with your family, I hope this blog can be just that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)