She will Rise!!!

I am reminded today of women who have been kept down.

My lovely wife is a woman of passion and full of life. She loves people, she loves music, she loves God, and she loves to share God and Music with people. I am so glad God has gifted her the way that he has. I am so glad she can has a heart for kids. I am so glad that she got to go to Wenatchee last weekend and share with the people there her love for God and inspire them to worship, repentance, and relationship with him. This is her mission in life, and I am so glad.

The unfortunate toll that this sinful world takes on us in this circumstance is, when Laura has poured her life into the people God has given the opportunity for her to use her gifts to minister too, she is worn out. She lives with the balancing act of outputting energy and then having to recover it. It takes a while to recover usually a couple of days of really hard core resting, pretty much strait up sleep. I am grateful we have come to understand this and have learned to create space for this rest so she can continue to minster to both our family and many others. All the same it feels at times that she is another woman who is being kept down.

Gen 38 is the story of Tamar, Judah's daughter-in-law. She is given in marriage to his first born, but he is wicked and is struck down by God. (Yikes, this is a whole different conversation.) So then she is married to the second oldest son, but he doesn't want to give his dead older brother children through Tamar so he pulls out a little early every time conception is opportune. He is also seen as wicked in the eyes of God and is taken out. (once again, Yikes!) SO Judah tells Tamar to go home and wait for his third son to grow up. She does, Judah doesn't. The youngest grows up but there is no marriage. Tamar is a woman kept down, a woman in the chains of circumstances. She has a responsibility to Judah's family and yet she is stuck in morning clothes with no husband or family to raise.

I have been spending the day in cannon beach today in retreat. I have been seeking God and was reminded by John Eldredge of the beauty God intends for us to behold. So I was taking in some works of art in the galleries here. My eyes fell on a sculpture of a woman laying face down on the ground. She is just raising herself up on one elbow high enough her hair is draping to the floor, but still covering her face. One hand is clenched and the other is forming a powerful claw pressing with all it's might on the finger tips determined to find some source of strength. It actually looks like a woman in the deepest of depressions. But the title of the sculpture is, "She Will Rise!"

Judah's wife dies and Tamar hears he is coming to town. She dresses up in the current lady of the night garb of her day and tempts Judah in. She forces Judah to give her his seal, cord, and staff as a promise of his payment he will send to her later. Judah attempts to send the payment of a young goat to the "shrine prostitute" in the area, but his servant can't find her. The men of the area tell the servant there is no such prostitute. So the servant gives up and so does Judah. Judah then finds out that Tamar is pregnant and sends to have her burned alive. But she produces the seal, cord, and staff of her father-in-law. Judah says, "she is more righteous then I, for I have with held my son from her." Needless to say the charges are dropped, Tamar has twins and one of her sons Perez shows up in Matthew Chapter 1 in the geneology line of who...Jesus. She will Rise!

I talked to Laura on the phone just a little while ago, I can hear the strength coming back into her voice today. She is answering the phone again, starting today, and she cleaned the whole house yesterday. God has created her gifted, talented, beautiful, and strong in the midst of this perilous condition.

She will Rise!!!

The trouble with dreaming

I wonder how many dreams have gotten people into trouble.

I have a dream today...that little black boys and black girls will join hands together with little white boys and white girls. I have a dream that there would be no more children sold into the sex trade. I have a dream, women stuck in the porn industry would find value in who they are without having to sell their bodies. I have a dream, the church would truly be a hospital for sinners where the smell of cigarette smoke would be a sweet aroma because of the souls of men and women who were walking through our doors. I have a dream that mental illness would be healed and the weight of depression would be lifted from our souls. I have a dream the love of junior high and high school kids was so rampant in my church that I would no longer have to pull teeth to find people to serve. I have a dream, we would be just as present in the public high schools as we are in our academies. I have a dream...

It seems to me the people who truly embrace their dreams live the most amazing and passionate lives. We always here the stories of the amazing things they have accomplished. There are books written about them, by them, and sold like hotcakes. The truth is most of them went though an awful lot of trouble getting to the place where they can actually live their dreams. Some like Martin Luther King Jr. don't even survive the pursuit.

Gen 37 warns us again of the danger of dreams. These aren't even dreams Joseph came up with on his own. These are dreams given to him by God. He shares them and jealousy grows to the point he is thrown into a cistern and sold into slavery. Now I know the rest of the story, it all works out, he ends up in charge of all of Egypt. But in this chapter all we know is dreams get you in trouble.

This can go either one of two ways, dreams can been seen as too dangerous to even think about let along have and God is to dangerous right along with them. This reaction inspires fear and a desire for the status-quo. If we can just keep things the way they are, then we will be safe. We can spend the rest of our lives tending the family flocks and everything will be fine. Sure God has given me these dreams, but I'm just going to keep my mouth shut. The problem with this path is everything would not have been fine. Famine would have eventually come and Joseph's family would have starved.

The other perception is to see this horrible story as an encouragement. Living ones dreams, living ones call from God can start out horribly difficult. To be despised by your family, your church, and have strangers more than willing to take advantage of you. But somehow God will see us through. This is the way living great God given dreams begins.

So when we feel stuck, when we feel despised or not listened too. When dreams seem so far out of reach. We can realize this is the way living a dream begins so we might just have a great God given dream. The bible promises in the last days God's spirit will be poured out. Young men will dream dreams and old men will see visions. The dreams are coming. They won't be easy to begin, but God will see them through. Somehow.

If you are against the wall today, if you are in the pit today, if you are suffering from the jealousy of others today. I hope, as we submit our lives to God, you would find yourself at the beginning of a God given dream.

All in Good Time

Do you ever wonder about the timing of things?

I wonder a lot about what might have happened if the timing had been just a little bit different. What if I hadn't met my wife when I did. What if I had taken the call to boulder Colorado instead of Portland, OR. What if Laura and I had found our current counselor 2 years earlier. Would things have been different? Sure, they would have. Would they have been for the better? That is impossible to say. What I know is what has happened with the timing I took or the timing that I was given.

I wonder what would have happened if Jacob hadn't tricked Esau and Isaac out to the firstborn's blessing. What would have happened in Isaac had died when he thought he was going to. Gen 35 is the story of two deaths. One is tragic, Rachel dies in child birth as she gives live to Benjamin. The second death is Isaac's which is also sad of course and yet it is peaceful in my mind. 20some years earlier Isaac thought he was about to die and Jacob tricked him into blessing him instead of Esau. Esau then consoles himself with the thought of killing Jacob when his father dies. But somehow Isaac lives for another 20some years as a blind old man apparently. He dies after the resolution has already come between Jacob and Esau. The two brothers actually bury their father together. Chap 36 while informing us of the descendants of Esau also tells us that he moves to a different place because the land of their father is not large enough to support both of them.

Do you see what just happened? God keeps Isaac alive long enough for the brothers to stop their feuding. In fact the feud is so long gone that Esau moves away from the land which would have been his as the first born and actually gives the land of the birthright to Jacob without a fight. Its just amazing the way God works out the timing in this family.

I don't think time heals all. I think God heals all. I also think God's timing is working out for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. We know Jacob wrestled with God, we don't know Esau's story. But it seems God had done some work on Esau's heart as well even if it was only through Jacob's change. What an amazing story.

I love to find 20 years later God has worked out the timing just as it was needed. It gives me faith in the way he has lead my life, when I met my wife, when we moved to Oregon, when we met our counselor. And it also gives me hope he will continue to lead and guide me in the timing of the future.

This is especially helpful to me on days when I just feel like quitting and moving on to something new. I know that he has the timing worked out and I just need to depend on him. I thought a week at a university in Colorado was crazy but he used it to call me to ministry. I didn't understand why I was interviewing for a different position 15 months after starting as a pastor of a five church district, but he knew the position in Portland was open just then. I have faith he will continue to move me as needed. In his timing and he will sustain me until then as he knows is best.

Vengance is mine, says the Lord?

So I am currently at bible camp this weekend. We assigned all the kids to different cabins and gave them the room numbers. When they found out they we preassigned there was plenty of complaining the inssued. One of the guys was asking me over and over and over again if there was any hair of chance of switching rooms. The persistant asking reminded me of the constant asking of my four year old daughter. Hearing it from a 14 year old freshman, pushed me from zero to sixy in nothing flat. I responded to yet another question with, "No, there is no chance and if you ask again you can get back on the bus to go home." Then I tried to cover up my moment of harshness with, "I'm sorry man you just reminded me of my four year old daughter." I don't think he felt a whole lot better after that one.

I remember hearing from Rich Mullins one time, "I know vengance in mine says the Lord, but I just want to be about my Father's business." We all laugh we hear a statement like that, but it is too often true.

In Gen 34 we have a story of...just...plain...nastiness. Dinah one of Jacob's daughters is raped and then when the guy finds out he likes this woman he raped he decides he wants her a his wife. Can you imaging that ladies? Having you family make arrangements for you to marry your rapist? Well neither could Dinah's borthers, so while they promised to give her to this guy, they said all the men in the town had to be circumsized first and then 3 days later as all the men are nursing their wounds two of the bothers go in and wipe out all the men in the town. They take the women, children, and possisions for their own.

All Jacob has to say is, "this is going to make for bad public relations, why did you do this." The brothers respond, "Would you have our sister treated like a prostitute?

Just plain crazy and nasty, rape in the first place and then slaughter. I think this is the kind of damage that is caused when we follow our own instincts and desires unchecked. The sinful nature just has a hay day. If our lives we checked with the will and the love of God we wouldn't find ourselves in these situations. The rape never would have happened, the slaughter would never have happened. I never would have compared a freshman to my four year old daughter.

I pray today, I would open myself up to the wiser guidence of the Holy Spirit in my life. I want to leave vengence in the hands of God, becasue he is way smarter than me and way more loving. It would have been way better if I had extended kindness, which leads to repentance. It would have worked out better and both the student and I would feel way better about ourselves.

God save us all from ourselves!!!

Jacob the kissup?

Have you ever received more in the giving than in the taking?

Its a strange thing to be a man of God. Its a stranger thing to be a man who works for God. And its a stranger thing still to be a man who works for God who wants praise for the work that he does, just as any other man for the work he does, when he works for God. I'm not really supposed to want praise for preaching well, am I? I'm not really supposed to want praise for making the band sound great when I run the sound board at bible camp, am I? I'm not supposed to want praise for the blogs that I write, am I? This is work I do in the service of God, it is all to bring him glory. And yet I still want it, I still want the praise and I still want the glory.

Jacob has just wrestled striven with God and man and overcome in the previous chapter. Now in Gen 33 he is going to meet his older brother again for the first time in 20 years. This is the brother he tricked, lied to, and stole from. But he is the one who got the blessing from his father. He is the one who is to be ruler over Esau not the other way around and he just stove with God and overcame. So why does he send all these gifts first and then when he meets Esau he bows down to him and has all of his family do the same? Jacob calls Esau his lord and insists Esau accept the gifts even when Esau says no the first time. Jacob should be giving the smack down to his older brother. But instead he serves him.

This is something amazing that has changed in Jacob. He leads his family out, not hiding behind them, but he bows to Esau, he doesn't try to wriggle around and take he position as the head of the family. He knows who he is, the son with the patriarchal blessing, and he knows he has overcome. He then chooses to serve. He gives himself away, he gives away his glory. Usually when we do this God has a way of restoring the glory too us. When we surrender we end up with more than if we steal and cheat to get it.

Philippians 2 says that Jesus humbled himself even to death on a cross. And because he did God raised him up so that he name is above every other name and at his name every knee should bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord.

I had the privilege of receiving a surprise compliment on my blog this evening. I didn't know this person was reading it. She just offered heartfelt thanks to me. I wasn't even looking for it. I wasn't checking my stats or looking for facebook replies and there is was a little bit of glory a little bit of praise. Thank you God, for blessing me in the times when I'm not looking for it!

Wrestling for the sake of our families

How do we overcome God?

I wrestled when I was a kid for one season. I liked it OK, but I must not have liked it too much cause my parent's didn't sign me up again the next year. It was fun to learn some of the holds and starting positions. I think I gained a little bit of a sense of balance and strength from the times I spent on the mat.

Although I only wrestled formally for one year, there was plenty to be done on dormitory floors and trampolines through out the years growing up as a guy. My room mate and I got along really well. When ever he got a little angsty though he would attack me. He had a nasty headlock and he was just strait up crazier than I was, but I was way bigger then him. So it usually worked out to be a good time for letting off steam for the both of us.

I never really learned to fist fight, I don't think I would do very well in one. But when it comes to wrestling I feel fairly confident. I can throw my weight around and stand my ground well. I have found myself in some very different sorts of wrestling matches as I have gotten older though.

In Genesis 32 Jacob is faced with coming home to meet his brother. He sends messengers to Esau to tell him he is coming. The messengers come back with the news the Esau is coming with 400 men. Jacob gets scared and sends out welcoming gifts in front of him offering livestock and servants to his brother hoping to lessen the conflict. He also has some personal preparation to go through. He sends everyone and everything across the river then stays on the other side by himself for the night. A man comes, says scripture, and they wrestle all night. The man realizes he cannot overpower Jacob and so he touches Jacob's hip and puts it out of joint at sunrise. Jacob will not let go until he is blessed. The man asks his name and then gives him a new one, Israel. Because Jacob has striven with both God and man and he has overcome!

How in the world do we wrestle with God and overcome? The times I have felt my wrestle with God have been in difficult life circumstances. I am going through something I know God could take away. He could stop it or fix it or save me from it. But he doesn't. He leaves me there in the situation struggling and wrestling. Often in these circumstances I strive with God in prayer asking, begging, pleading, and roaring for relief.

I was just sharing with my good friends this morning the journey that I have taken through counseling and the help it brought to my marriage. Four months ago my wife was ready for me to move out and work all I wanted. She never wanted a divorce, but it was too painful to live with me when I was so disconnected. As you can imagine we had been striving with one another and with God for quite a while. We went to see a new counselor starting in May and she began to give us good, solid, formal training on how to live in relationship. As I reflect on this now, I can say we have overcome both man (each other and ourselves) and God (the situation God gave us for growth i.e. marriage) at least for this round.

I am recognizing our next wrestling match today. It will be the one to take hold of our health, not just on our own, but together. I need to give my strength to Laura and I will need her to give her strength to me so we might be able to say we have overcome in this area of our lives as well, together, and for the sake of our family.

There is always another match, there is always the next struggle. But I can honestly say, overcoming the last struggle makes this one seem much more possible. I am glad to have victory in Jesus today in my marriage and I look forward to victory in my health as well.

I encourage you to strive today because the victory is available and because it tastes sooooooooo sweet!

Freedom from the inlaws

Are God and freedom connected for you...at all?

I think the closest I have ever come to prison is a sick day at boarding academy. When you we're pronounced sick by the nurse you were in your room all day no outs except for walking down the hall to the bathroom. They would even bring you a take out tray from the cafeteria so wouldn't have to go out to get food. I have to admit I faked sick a couple of times no doubt. It was great all morning, I basically just slept in. But come evening I was usually a little stir crazy. A 12x12 cinder block dorm room can get a little old after a while.

To tell you truth though, my most serious captor has been depression. I don't know if you have ever dealt with depression or not. I have never gotten to the clinical proportions my father has, or others I have known. Mine has been a high functioning low grade depression. I still go to work, and get stuff done, but I'm not really engaged with the people around me. I don't have the energy to really enjoy any of the things I am doing. There have been days when I don't have work to get me out of the house I find myself sleeping on the couch on and off most of the afternoon. It feels like I am just under the surface of the water. All I need to do is a good kick and my head would break the surface, but I just don't have the energy.

I have a feeling this is what life under Laban felt like for Jacob. In Gen 31 it describes their relationship. Jacob has been working for Laban 20 years. It started out as 7 years for Rachel, but he got Leah so he worked 7 more for Rachel. Then he had to work 6 more for any of the livestock he has increased for Laban over the years. Laban has changed his wages 10 times. It must have felt like Jacob almost had his head above water and then Laban would shove him back down with another change.

While God is all for perserverance and long suffering, they are even fruits of the spirit, he is also against opression of our freedom. It is God who has brought Jacob to this place and it is God who calls him out. Enough is enough and it is time for Jacob to take what is his and move on. So he does, Laban chases him down too. But God steps in again and warns Laban not to do anything stupid. So Jacob is finally able to break free from the tyrany of his inlaws. This freedom in God's leading is not without challenge the next chapter is the meeting with Esau. God's freedom usually comes with challenge. The challenge to grow, the challenge to do some hard things, but it is freedom.

I have found freedom from this depression as well. I am an advocate of meds and couseling both which gave me the courage I needed to begin to make important changes in my life. The freedom has come with challenge, the more freedom that I have the more God challenges me to do. But there is an excitement in life. Emotional healing is hard work. You can't just let it happen you have to fight to break free from the prison of depression and emotional brokeness and not every day is a good day. But the days are getting brighter and the air is fresher.

God has given me strength to endure the oppression and now he is giving me strength to break out in freedom. I pray the same for you whether you oppression be depression, addiction, emotional numbness, emotional chaos, stuckness in work, struggles with your church organization, or the messiness of your house. What ever it is may God call you and strengthen you to deliverance and the strength to make things better!

A pile of puppies...or...wives???

Aren't you glad God just works with us right where we are?

There are pictures in my parents photo albums of me when I was probably 5 or 6. Our Labrador Retriever had a litter of puppies. I think there was like 13 in all. One day I was out on the front porch and got the bright idea to lay down on a lawn chair and cover my self with a living blanket of puppies. I remember it taking some time to get all 13 puppies on to the lawn chair and then on top of me. Once this fete of amazing puppy handling skills was accomplished it then began an ever greater task to manage the puppies and keep them on my lap. Some where in this chaotic mass of puppies, which I found to be great fun by the way, my mom snapped a picture.

When I read Genesis 30 today I was reminded of this mass of puppies. First is was one wife having sons for Jacob, then there was the maid servant of the second more beloved wife who couldn't have kids, then when the first wife stopped having children she gave her maidservant to Jacob to have more kids, then the second more beloved wife finally has a child herself, and then the first wife starts having kids again, and finally in a later chapter the second more beloved wife has a second son.

Jacob ends us with 12 sons, who knows how many daughters, and four wives!!! Can you just picture in your minds eye Jacob laying back on a lawn chair piled high with babies and wives. O.K. maybe you can't, but I sure can.

What a crazy, crazy mess of humanity. There was so much jealousy floating around, Leah was bartering mandrakes with Rachel in order to get a night with Jacob, every child that Leah bears or her maidservant bears she hopes will win Jacob's love for her. Rachel has to have children and starts the whole give the man more wives thing because she had to have children in order to have any worth in the eyes of her husband even though it was Rachel that Jacob worked 14 years to get!!!

It's a mess! The amazing thing to me is, this is the starting of God's chosen nation of Israel. These 12 sons are the twelve tribes. These are the people God delivers from slavery, gives the ten commandments to, dwells in the sanctuary they build for him, and gives the promised land to. Out of this mess of a family comes King David, Solomon - the wisest man in history, the prophets, and eventually...the Messiah. Jesus comes from the line started in this mess of poligamy and jealousy. Amazing!

God works with us no matter how much messy humanity we are burried under. No matter what we do or don't do, no matter what we look like, how we smell, how much we make, who our friends are, who our family is, or even how well we follow him. God still strives with us and blesses us. When I read a story like this my life seems way less complicated. It is easier to believe the promise, "He who began a work work in me is faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus."

I am sure glad God is the author and finisher of my faith, because who knows what kind of things I would be buried in now, without him.

Love gives time wings

Have you lost your hope in marriage?

I think one of the slowest summers I can remember growing up was the summer after my freshman year of high school. I was a guy who always had to have a girl if I was really going to have a good summer. Most of my high school dating career consisted of two girls. I was a long term dater, but the summer of my freshman year I didn't have a girlfriend. As much as I tried to do the whole, I like you thing - do you like me. It just didn't work out that summer. And I swear that was the longest summer of my life. And to tell you the truth I can't remember anything else about that summer except the fact that I didn't have a girlfriend.

Apparently the opposite is also true, In Genesis chap 29 Jacob works 7 years for his uncle Laban in order to get Laban's daughter Rachel as his bride. (I know the cousin thing is weird to me too, but lets set that aside for now.) Scripture says for Jacob it was as if it were only a few days. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH isn't that sweeeeeet! But really there seems to be some truth in this. Perception wise when we are loving someone and being loved in return our days just seem to click along much faster. Slow time comes from bordem and loneliness it would seem.

The trick is though, after 7 years of working to earn Rachel, Laban gives jacob leah instead. It's only after a dark night in the tent when the light of day streams in that Jacob realizes the deception. Laban tells him the older daughter must be married first but Jacob can have Rachel too if he works for another 7 years. Fortunately Jacob doesn't have to wait 7 more years for Rachel, they get married the next week, but he does have to work 7 more.

I know and you know relationships take work. I can only imagine having to maintain two relationships with sisters none the less. I think it's crazy. But even for one marriage it takes work and time. Jacob worked 7 years just to get Rachel and 7 more to be able to keep her. But I don't think the effort stopped there.

The longest days in my marriage are the ones when Laura and I are not getting along. Isn't that just the way. I wish it was the other way around, so happier days lasted longer. But I tell you what getting through the long days. Putting in the time brings such great joy as they speed up again. The moments and the hours are a breeze full of the fragrance of joy, companionship, smiles, and laughter. And I can tell you this, those days are all the sweeter when you have come through a valley of dragging seconds.

I just want to say today I am grateful for my wife. I am glad to be married to her. I am so glad time for us right now...is flying! The work and effort over the last 10 years of our marriage has been worth it both when the minutes were flying and when they were crawling. I hope whoever is reading this will be able to catch a glimpse of the goodness of marriage.

Don't give up hope if your minutes are crawling by right now. Do whatever it takes to get back off of the runway and into the sky. And if your not married take courage not all relationships will end in divorce not all are filled with sadness. There is joy to be found, worked for, and achieved by the grace of God.

What did you eat today?

Have you ever found God hiding in a Jack cheese and chicken taquito?

Ok, today has not been the healthiest for me so far. This is something that I am still working on. It started off pretty good with a V8 before I left home to take Lorelai to preschool. But as soon as I hit the car it went down hill. It started with a few mike and ikes, then progressed into a half hot chocolate and half espresso from 7/11 followed with two jack cheese and chicken taquitos also from 7/11. This amazing diet has been followed by some "fun" time in the restroom and a little bit of caffeine head and typing skills. This morning has also consisted of putting on some blue jeans and a black Andrews University t-shirt with the words Seek, Affirm, Change written in bold white letters, and a conversation with a very talented church member who is really into video. He sees the possibilities of so much we could do with video ministry here in our church if we just had a little money, OK a lot of money starting with about 75,000. But that is pocket change to some people.

Jacob is getting ready to run away from Esau in Genesis chap 28, so that he doesn't end up dead. Isaac calls him in and tells him to go find a wife from his mother's family and offers another blessing on him for the promise given to Abraham to be carried out through Jacob's decedents. Jacob sets off for the journey to his uncle Laban's house. He stops for the night and chooses this really comfy material for a pillow, a rock, and lays down for a "good" night's rest. During this sleep number rest he sees a stair case going up to heaven with angels going up and down it. He gets a vision of the LORD and hears directly from God that he will be blessed as a great nation. He wakes up to realize God was there where he didn't expect him to be.

This is where we find out that Jacob is on his spiritual journey as well as his find a wife journey. He is surprised God is with him in this random place and he puts out a test of faith. He tells God, if he will provide for his food and clothes on this journey returning him safely to his father's house then Jacob with consider the LORD to be his God.

This reminds me of the journey I went through testing my faith. Deciding for myself if this whole God thing and Jesus thing was for me and not just my parents or my church. And I am reminded as well of the conversations that I have been having with students recently as they are also looking to see if the LORD with be their God.

I can now honestly look back at things like food and clothing and recognize in them the presence of God. Its a strange transition and I don't know exactly when it took place. I went from everything is provided because we work for it we get money we buy food and clothes to God is here in my Andrews University t-shirt, blue jeans and taquitos. But I did, I have come to recognize God as my provider. I have come to the place in my faith where I claim that every good and perfect thing comes from my father in heaven.

I don't know where you are on your journey right now. I would invite you to open your heart up to the possibility of God being present where you lay your head down to sleep tonight, in the provision of the converse you are lacing to your feet, the taco bell you have for lunch, and that sweet vintage tee you pulled over your head this morning. You might just be surprised in the places God shows up.

I hope today will be the day you can say the LORD is my God. The LORD is the translation for Yahweh, the is the God who is near, the God who is with us. The God who became us when Jesus put on flesh. I hope today is the day in your journey you begin to realize that Jesus is your God. Not just the God of your parents or teachers or preachers. But your God.

Why are we such a mess?

Have you ever tried to work out God's will your way?

I went to my new found guy's fellowship yesterday morning. We meet in a weight room and kind of work out and more just try to push each other on in strength. Sometimes this comes through mocking sometimes with a little friendly competition and always with prayer. So yesterday someone came up with the bright idea of us doing an "I go, you go" thing. We started with pull-ups which I am really not that proficient at. I used be be much better at them in my younger and lighter years. I might get one or so every round. Then we switched to push-ups. I am a little better at push-ups. I didn't know it before we started, but it turns out that I am. We "I go, you goed" until I got to 100 push ups. I was feeling pretty darn good about it yesterday. I was feeling a little glory it in, I even put it up on face book. But let me tell you today...my body is a mess. Soreness in all kinds of places. I have more muscles in my chest and arms then I knew was possible. I definitely pulled something between my neck and my shoulder on those pull-ups.

Why are we such a mess? Why do I hurt like this after feeling so good about an accomplishment? Don't get me wrong I would still do it all over again, but man do I hurt today.

I am reminded of the mess of humanity when I read through Genesis 27. It's time for the Father's blessing, which almost seems to have supernatural powers in the minds of those in the story. I think it has more to do with the will and testament of the Father. He is putting one of his sons as head of the household and giving him the farm - literally speaking. Rebbecca hears Isaac saying to Esau, "Go out get me some wild game, make me food just the way I like it and I will give you my blessing, I am about to die." She quickly gets Jacob and sets up this crazy, messy deception so that Jacob will get the blessing instead. This has been predicted at their birth so Rebbecca is just trying to help it along.

They go through the motions, Jacob steals the blessing, Esau is ticked "consoling himself with the thought of killing Jacob," and Rebbecca tells Jacob to run away. Essentially Esau gets the farm. It seems really pointless. Now we know God goes with Jacob and blesses him and he becomes Israel and all of that, but it is a really messy way of getting there. It just makes me wonder what would have happened if Rebbecca had let God work it all out instead of doing this deception thing.

Here is the thing I am grateful for in all of this. God still works in the midst of our mess. Even though my body feels like a mess today. God has designed it in a way so this pain can actually be part of making my muscles stronger. I may be able to do 120 push-ups next time or maybe even two pull-ups a round. And even though Rebbecca and Jacob made a mess of things, God is still there to guide them through. He will train this young warrior Jacob to be the man he is to be through the hard knocks he inflicts on himself and God will keep his promise.

So whatever mess you have found yourself in today, or yesterday, or for the rest of your life, remember we have a God of the incarnation. Jesus who not only is dealing with our mess, but entered into it. He didn't just set this world a spinning and then step back to watch us all fly off. He keeps us going day by day and enters into our mess!

Comfort at home

Is your home a safe place?

I was watching this crazy show last night called hoarders. Have any of your seen this? They find these houses that have come to these crazy places of not just clutter but strait up floor to ceiling piles of garbage, it might look ok at the top of the pile but by the time they get to the bottom we are talking bug infested garbage. One of the houses they showed last night was so bad there was no access to food or bedroom. Child services gave then five days to get it cleaned up before they would be prosecuted for neglect. One of the kids made the statement ,"I just don't even want to come home." home was not safe for them. There are many reasons way home may not be safe. There may be abuse going one there maybe too much work to do and becomes a stress hazzard. For my family over the last couple of years it had been marital tension. I remember talking to one of my pastor friends and he told me when he made the mind set change to think of home as a sanctuary it became so. I didn't really understand what he meant.

In gen 24 we have the story of Abrahams servant going to find a wife for Isaac. It really is an amazing story of prayer and answers to prayer and I recomend that you read it. But the part that struck me was they very end of the story. The servant returns with Rebecca and Isaac sees them approaching from the field he is working. Rebecca gets off of her camel and veils her face. Isaac then takes her into his mothers tent and the partake in their new marriage. Then scripture says that Isaac took comfort in Rebecca because of his mothers death.

Rebecca was a safe place for isaacs grieving heart. He reached out to his new wife and trusted her finding consolation for his pain. What I discovered in my own marriage was if I actually reached out to my wife then home was a sanctuary. I had become so self dependent that I had closed muself off to the one who wanted to care for me the most. When I opened up to the care that she wanted to give me and became honest about my need my home has sense become a sanctuary. It didn't happen over night for me I and am still learning to trust and ask for help when I think I should be able to do it all on my own. But there is a remarkable difference in the safety in our home every time I do.

My encouragemnt to you today is not to live life all on your own find others you can depend on and take the risk of reaching out to them you might just find out that home can be a safer place after all. And if the people at home really aren't safe or there is no one else at home. Find a community that is, because as scripture says it's not good for man to be alone. Believe or not I would suggest looking at church or even better a small group.

And here is a shout out to my own band of brothers, Greg, Stephen, and Les with out brothers we would perish!

Thirsting for Mountain lakes

Have you ever been thirsty, I mean really, really thirsty?

I don't back pack a lot. I have a back pack in my closet and I don't think that I have done a serious trip sense I bought the back pack in my closet. But I have memories of great back packing trips. What I remember most about them is the desperation for the lake at the end. I really don't like to back pack if there isn't going to be a lake at the end of the hike. I love water, I feel like the most alive times of my life have been on or in the water. So if I am going to do something like back packing, requiring great amount of effort, I really want the goal to include some water! And the truth is by the time I get there I feel like my whole body is thirsty. Have you felt this? Do you know what I mean? Its not just a parched dryness in my throat its my whole being crying out to jump in that lake! The water just beacons to me, here I am cool and refreshing ready to restore you and give you life.

Genesis 26 is all about wells. It really is. Every place that Isaac is forced to move (because he has followed in his Father's footsteps and lied about his wife being his sister, until they get caught making out by the king) the new settlement is around a well. he opens up wells Abraham dug and the philistines filled in. His people and the other people quarrel about new wells he digs and finally he digs wells that he is able to use and live from. He names each of the wells depending on what happens around them. I particularly like the one that he names "room" because their is no quarreling over this one and his people have room to live there.

Life really has been centered around water for a long, long time. Whenever there is a new settlement, town, or even a successful homestead they are build with water very close by if not in the town itself. We cannot live without water. Some crazy amount of our bodies are made up of water. So it makes sense to me the way my whole body seems to thirst for water at the end of the back packing hike for the day.

Jesus says to the Samaritan woman that he meets at the well. "I am the living water, whoever comes to me will thirst no more." Jesus is claiming to be the source of spiritual life. He is the one that our souls are thirsting for. Have you ever felt the thirst of your soul, when you seem to be parched inside you have nothing left to give making it through the next day just seems impossible? Jesus is the water that can quench your soul. He is the room in which I need to live.

When all the business of life comes down on me, all the concerns of the things I must get done. The things I must do if I don't want to fail. I am encouraged to find room to rest and to live in Christ. To stop and slow down the pace realizing the most important things will be carried on.

Are you parched in life today, do you need room to live? I would suggest sitting down long enough to take a deep drink from the well of life. Spend some time soaking up God. Really read his word, soak it in, really breathe in the Holy Spirit in prayer. Drink from the well that will satisfy. Drink in Jesus. If you haven't before then just give it a try today.

Honoring our Father

Have you ever come back to a place you thought your would never go?

I have pictures on my computer of a birthday I missed. It was Grandfather's 75th or 80th birthday I can't remember for sure. I wasn't there but I have the pictures anyway because we are attempting to make photo books of the years. I look at those pictures and I see people in them that I haven't seen for a while. People that had kind of disappeared from the family. A couple of cousins who really had not been around for a while. They just started reconnecting again. There are also grandchildren and separated aunts and uncles who have all come together under one roof again. It seems like a strange combination of people to a certain extent. Marriages no longer together, but the partners still coming together. This group is there for one reason. To honor my Grandad. To honor their Father. To celebrate his life.

Gen 25 has the story of Abraham's death. It is very interesting to me to see that both Isaac and Ishmael are there to bury their father. Isaac who is the promised one, the one whom all the inheritance has been given too. It is no surprise that he is there. But Ishmael, the one sent out into the desert. The one almost left under a bush to die. Ishmael is there as well. He isn't going to get any inheritance out of this deal. It is very clear what the will and testament of Abraham was. This was the reason Ishmael was sent away. Isaac is the only one getting the inheritance. Even the sons born to Abraham's second wife after Sarah dies aren't getting any inheritance although they were given send off gifts, which is more that Ishmael got. Those sons aren't mentioned as being there for the burial.

So why does Ishmael show up? Why does he come back to this place that he has been banished from? Apparently he comes to honor his Father. Even though Abraham sent him away. He comes back to bury him. He comes back to show Abraham honor.

I think about church sometimes. There are weeks when I really don't connect to what is happening from the front. The music doesn't hit me right, the sermon just isn't connecting or I am too busy paying attention to my daughter to even hear it. But I have come to honor my Father in Heaven. So many people that walk through the doors of our church come from different back grounds and some don't even really like each other. But here they are together to honor their Father. Some of them have been hurt badly by the church. Administration has done them wrong, they might even have been cast out at one time or another. But they have come back to honor their Father.

I don't know where you are with church, or the people who go to church. I would like to encourage you in whatever season of life you are in to come back to this place you thought you might never go again, not for me or for the other people in the pews, but to honor your Father. Maybe it will be grief that brings you back as it was for Ishmael or those who are remembering 9 years ago 9/11. But whatever it is I encourage you to come back and honor your father in heaven.

The beautiful thing about our Father in heaven is we all get the inheritance of sons. Everyone of us. So come on back home and find the the love of a Father who really does care for you and love you.

From the lakehouse to an apartment, grrrrrrrrr!

Do you ever feel short changed?

I had plans for my life when I started college. I had plans to get a good high paying job. I had plans to go into counseling where I could make $90/hour, build a nice house on the lake, and have all the toys I or my family might desire. I had plans. I was still going to minister to people. I was studying to be a christian counselor. I even wanted to volunteer a day at my local high school and get colleagues to do the same. Kids need a counselor their parents don't have to pay for and don't have to know about. I had plans.

Then as Mike Yaconelli says, "Jesus ruined my life." God changed my plans. He called me into pastoral ministry. I accepted it wholeheartedly. It was just what I wanted to do. I wanted to preach, I wanted to counsel people, I wanted to call people to follow him. The one part of my heart I held back was the financial part. I still wanted to house on the lake, all the toys, and life at a certain level of comfort. The whole $90/hr was out of the question.

In Genesis chap 23 we find Abraham in morning over the death of his wife. He wept at her bedside. He truly grieved the loss of the woman he loved. Then he went to honor her memory with humility and financial integrity. He approaches the elders of the land and asks to buy a burial place. They reply, "No, no you are a prince among us simply bury your dead." But Abraham bows lowly and insists that he be allowed to purchase land and now a specific piece of land. The owner of the land says, "don't worry about paying for it, simply bury your dead." But Abraham bows again and insists again. The man gives in and tells him the current market value for the land and Abraham buys it for that price.

God has promised this land to Abraham and his decedents. It will all belong to his family someday. But he will not take it as a handout before the time is right. Instead he insists on financial integrity and purchases the land. There can be no depute on his honoring of his wife's memory or his financial dealings. There were plenty of witnesses present to confirm the transaction.

I often find myself looking for the "deal." I sacrificed my financial plans for God's plans right, so he and the rest of the world owe me a deal. This is crazy thinking but it's what goes through my head. Abraham was offered the deal, the FREE deal. He didn't have to pay for the land he could simply use it for what he needed. But Abraham recognized the amazing provision that God had blessed him with and he purchased the land for market value with full financial integrity and gratitude to God for what he had given him.

God has blessed me also in wonderful ways. I can support my family. We always have food on the table and we have a roof over our heads in a place we feel safe with for our daughter. We have health benefits and vacation time. God has blessed us in amazing ways.

My prayer today is for God to help me stop looking for the "deal" and give me a heart of gratitude and financial integrity with what he has already given me. He has been so good to me in spite of all my best laid plans.

Desperation for Mutton

When is it that you have felt your greatest desperation for salvation?

Have you ever felt rage just well up inside of you? Have you ever felt the need to just lash out? I don't know if this is something that you have ever had to deal with. In my family rage is part of the generational curse. It has been passed down through the generations. I am so glad my parents were able to find the strength in God to put a major stop to it. They were empowered to take it down a serious notch. Some of it still got through, the nature of sin unfortunately just seems to keep seeping through the cracks.

It has seeped right into me. I haven't ever really been physically violent other than the occasional hold the bully up against the wall episode (see earlier blogs.) But I have lashed out with a little more "truth" than needed to be said from time to time. Its more of a lack of mercy than anything else. Unfortunately I have seen this coming out more sense becoming a parent then before. I feel like such a jerk every time I am short with my daughter. Any time I have rushed her back to her bedroom for a timeout faster than I needed to or given her the evil eye and a growl. It makes me wonder what I might be passing along to her and what part of the family rage might be seeping through me into my daughter.

In Genesis 22 we have a father and son story that is hard to swallow. Abraham is asked to sacrifice his only son. He takes he son up on a mountain, the son carrying the wood he will be burned on. Abraham binds Isaac and lays him on the alter lifting the knife before God speaks again and says, "Stop!" As Abraham looks up there is the ram to take the place of his son. Can you imagine the sense of desperation Abraham is feeling. We know from Hebrews Abraham was believing God could raise Isaac from the dead. But I still don't understand how he could go through with it. The desperation in Abraham's heart for salvation as he raised the knife is palpable.

Then I think about the things I have done in my life. I think about generational patterns of behavior, habits, addictions...sin I have or will very possibly pass down to my daughter. I realize I have have bound my own dear sweet daughter and placed her on the alter deserving...death. I know she makes her own choices and she can over come sins she sees in me. It will not be my behavior in the end causing her need for the savior. But my hands tremble as I type this and my heart becomes weak, as I think of any part that I have had to play in this. I feel the desperation for salvation welling up in every part of me.

My only relief is the ram caught in the thicket. My only hope is my Jesus who died on the cross for me. My only salvation is Jesus taking not just my place but the place of my daughter and the tears of gratefulness come to my eyes. I need this salvation!!! I need the transformation of the holy spirit in my life to save me now from the sin I might inflict on my daughter or others around me. And I praise God for it.

The greatest evidence I know of for God is my own changed life and the continuing change that is occurring daily. I need it so...

Truly God is good and his mercy endures forever. Thank you Jesus for saving me and my dear sweet daughter from my sin and its awful effects. Thank you for being the ram caught in the thicket for us!

breakfast and deserts

Have you ever had those days when breakfast becomes being lost in the desert?

My usual morning routine is to wake up to the sound on my daughters voice saying, "It's morning daddy, get up." This is followed by the usual rituals of getting her breakfast, making her a lunch for preschool, and getting a shower. Depending on the state of awake-ness these things happen slower or faster given the day. So sometimes I even have time to wonder about breakfast. This usually consists of trying to figure out if I have the wits to actually get some cereal into a bowl. I have already done this for my daughter, but sometimes it is beyond my ability to do it for myself. Sometimes it blows-up into huge proportions of life changing decisions and other times I just give up and go without breakfast all together.

In Gen 21 we have great joy and great sadness. Isaac is born and there is laughter through out the camp and joy on every side. Except for Hagar. Sarah is now ready to toss this slave woman and her son out of the camp. Here is the strange thing. God actually tells Abraham to follows Sarah's complaint. So Abraham packs Hagar up and sends her off into the desert.

When the water runs out, Hagar finds herself at the point of giving up. She places the baby under a bush and walks an arrow shot away because she can't bear to watch her baby die. But God comes to her and says I hear the baby crying go and pick him up, I will take care of you. She goes and picks him up and the bible says that her eyes are opened and she sees the spring of water right there next to her.

Why couldn't she see this before? How were her eyes closed to this thing? Did God close her eyes so that she would have to learn dependence on him? I don't think so, because scripture usually strait up tells us when God does something like that. I think it is more likely her own despair closed her eyes to any possibility of hope. She was stuck dying in the desert because of her own mindset.

I think this truth carries over to us as well. We find ourselves stuck in our own despair, our own indecision, and own mindset and we are unable to move. I would like you to notice in this story it is not her sheer will that opens her eyes. She can not come out of this alone. She needs the voice of God, to come out of it. She needs God to be able to once again pick up her baby. Her eyes are opened in response to God.

I believe that God is still able to open our eyes to the provision that he has for us. If we respond to the call that he places on our lives, he will open our eyes to the possibilities. Its hard to see it in the midst of the darkness of indecision, but some how it is there. Whether it is choosing to have breakfast or finding a drink of water so that you and your child, so that I and my child can live.

This may come in the form of a new job, a house finally selling, knowing how to feed your family, knowing whether or not to serve in certain position in your church, what medications may be the most helpful for you, or hundreds of other things depending on your situation. I believe, God has something in mind for us if we respond to him and open our eyes.

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be opened.

Indecent Proposal

Did anyone else out there get sick when the watched that stupid Nicolas cage movie in Vegas, when he offers his wife to the money guy so that he can get out of his gambling debt. I never actually saw indecent proposal but just the thought of offering my wife to some guy for a lot of money just makes me sick. I really can’t stand those kinds of stories. I get this sour feeling in my gut and can't wait until it’s over. The same thing comes when I think of "open marriages." And here I find just such a story in the bible of all places.

Genesis 20 Abraham is at it again. He didn't learn the first time in Egypt so he lies again and says that Sarah is his sister, which we find out is true at least that she is his half sister, but still she is his wife. He is willing to once again give her up to supposedly save his own neck. We still don't know in either one of these situations if his life would have actually been threatened had he kept her as his wife. Abraham lies, Sarah lies, the king takes her to be his wife. But thank God, literally thank God he has a stronger value for the sanctity of marriage then the humans in this story and he sends a dream.

He curses the king, and the king actually calls his advisors to figure out what to do. Thankfully once again they at least follow God on this one even if it is out of fear and return Sarah to Abraham. Then they even pay off Abraham. This is where things get messy for me. Doesn't this just give Abraham incentive to keep on lying? The king even offers him any place he wants to live in his land.

Here is what I had to come to, regardless of the choices that the people in this story made. No matter how stupid they were. God still holds marriage is very high regard. The sanctity of the marriage bed is important enough for him to close the wombs of all the women in the king’s household until Sarah was returned. God is for a loyal and committed marriage! Period!

And yet even in this he gives us grace for the hardness of our own hearts. If we can't handle the unfaithfulness of a spouse he gives us the out of divorce. Even though this is not what he would choose. He longs for us to stay faithful to our spouses and to forgive and love the unfaithful ones right back into a committed marriage. Read Hosea of you don’t believe me. I have seen those marriages where the faithful spouse extends the same grace that God has given to them to the unfaithful partner and I have seen those marriages come back to life.

I am glad God works in the midst of our blunders as he did with Abraham. But my prayer today is for God's grace to work in my marriage before unfaithfulness would come and thankfulness that he has done so thus far. I really don't want to walk the painful road of an affair. I need God in the midst of my marriage everyday so that I never need be sick to my stomach about my own marriage. But for the grace of God there go I. I am so grateful for his saving grace in my marriage.

Let us be faithful to him today in whatever state we find our marital life in. Whether married, single, divorced, remarried, or currently struggling from the aftermath of an affair. God is there with us and he will guide us through.

He extends the same grace to us as we are unfaithful to him. He takes us back and loves us anyway. Paying what we deserve for our betrayal on the cross and taking us back, even if we have made him sick to his stomach. He still takes us back.

Grease or Golden

Grease or golden, what's your choice?

So we have been spending the weekend with our folks. This is Paul Bunyan days in St. Maries, ID. There is no other weekend like it in town. I think most of the businesses make at good %50 of their revenue in this one weekend. There is a carnival, which I spend spent more of my growing up time then I can remember. There is a fireworks show that swells the size of town from the typical 2500 population to 6000 in attendance.

I am waiting for the fireworks to begin and decide this a perfect opportunity for a genuine car-ni-val awesome blossom. I waited in one line to order and then got moved to the next line to wait for pick up. By the time I was handed the thin paper plate full greesy hot, slightly battered, onion with a little plastic cup of helmans ranch the fireworks had already started. While it was full of greasy goodness, it didn't match up to the vision of the golden battered truly awesome blossom with the side of sweet spicy sauce.

In Genesis 19 we have a story of destruction. And story of men and women just trying to survive, the best that they know how. But it ends up being a pretty distorted mess over all. When the angels come into the town the men of the town come to assault them. The best plan Lot can come up with is to offer his daughters instead. Not really much of a plan. But Lot thought he might be able to help them survive.

After the destruction of the cities Lot and his daughters end up living in a cave full of fear. The only way that the daughters can figure out to "survive" is by getting the old man drunk and getting pregnant. The problem, other than the obvious incest, is they end up creating to races of people that end up fighting against Israel later on; the Moabites and the Ammonites.

I know that God has much better plans for us then we have for ourselves. For example when Lot offers his daughters to the mob, the angels pull him back and send blindness on the mob. I can only imagine the plans that he had in mind for Lot and his daughters had they only trusted in him instead of making their own plans. I have a feeling they would have gotten the golden brown truly awesome blossom rather than the the pile of grease with the little cup of ranch.

I come back to the choice theme that I mentioned a few days ago. We have the chance to to follow what God has in mind and end up with a the golden onion, or we can try to survive on our own and end up with a pile of grease. My prayer for my family is not just survival made with my own two hands. But passion and abundant life made by the hand of God.

Mercy for the criminal!

When was the last time your prayed God would give mercy to a murderer?

I remember hearing a concert quote from Rich Mullins once. I don’t remember exactly what he was talking about but he said, “I know the bible says, ’vengeance is mines says the lord’ but I just want to be about my Father’s business.

I wonder sometimes why we get caught up in thinking that vengeance is what our Father’s business is really about. It’s kind of like when we see Police officers and all we can think is, man I hope they don’t give me a ticket. And we forget that their motto is to protect and serve, not judge and sentence. I saw a police car pulled over on the side of the road the other day and thought, “oh, somebody got caught.” But then as I drove past I realized that the cop was actually helping someone change their tire.

The real truth is, I believe God is a lot more about mercy than he is vengeance. Which seems a little weird considering the next chapter in Genesis is the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. But in Chap 18 Abraham pleads with God face to face for mercy on the people of Sodom. God didn’t have to come and talk to Abraham first. He could have just destroyed them. God didn’t have to stand there and listen to Abraham whittle the number down from 50 to 10 righteous people in order to save the city. But he did. And he agreed with Abraham on every request he made.

I think God is more about repentance and mercy then vengeance. Think about Jonah. Jonah didn’t want to go to Nineveh because he knew that God was merciful and if the Ninevites repented God would show them mercy when Jonah thought they deserved vengeance.

I reflect on this in my own life. How many times do I see some sort of arrest happen on T.V. and think boy I wish those crack heads, meth dealers, child molesters, terrorists would receive mercy. I don’t find myself praying for mercy on those that I think deserve judgment. Abraham is doing just that. He pleads with God for mercy on the one of the most corrupt cities there was.

And God’s mercy is so great a couple of chapters ago he told Abraham that it would be a good four hundred plus years before one of the people groups in Canaan has reached the fullness of their guilt and would need to be driven out from the promise land. So Abraham can’t conquer them right now. Who knows how long he waited and pleaded with Sodom. And he welcomes Abraham’s prayers for mercy even then.

I don’t know about you, but I need more mercy in my heart. I want to want the salvation and healing of the criminal and corrupt, because that is the heart of God. I pray today that he will give me a new merciful heart. What about you?

Ouch! I won't forget that!

How much more personal can God get when it comes to a covenant?

I was talking with a mother of a new college student the other day. She was desperate to see her daughter go to a good college. She was waiting and waiting for the award letter to come in the mail, telling her how much she would have to contribute for the school bill to be paid. She had already lined up a second and possible third job if she needed it.

Promise and hope for people throughout the history of the world has come through their children. This may not be a good time to be living in right now, things might be hard for us, but there will be a brighter day for our children. This is the motivation for us when we fight wars, build new industry, work ourselves to death so we can pay for college tuition.

The promise that was made to Abraham was also made through the child to come. He would be a great nation. He and his old wife Sarah would have a child. This was the covenant the LORD was making with Abraham. He would give Abraham a child and make a great nation out of him. That was God’s part. Abraham’s part was to cut his foreskin off. Really???

It took me a long time to think this one through. Why in the world would God ask for such a thing? He didn’t ask for half of his income, or some sort of bull offering sacrificial ceremony. No lambs, goats, or cows to lay on the alter. Foreskins, this is the offering required.

The truth is, I don’t think Abraham ever forgot that covenant! Every time he made love to his wife, with the possibility that this time might bring the promised son, he would remember it was God who would bring forth this promise. God promised him a son, he believed it, and he was reminded everyday in a very personal way that he believed it.

Later in the history of Israel, it is clear the symbol of circumcision is not quite so memorable any more. God calls for a circumcision of the heart rather than just the flesh. At 100 years old Abraham was bound to remember the day of circumcision very well, but when it happens when you are 8 days old it doesn’t stay in your mind so well anymore.

God once again wants a personal commitment from his people. He wants them to really truly follow him. Not just on the outside but on the inside as well. So he promises them a new heart and a new mind. That he will be the one that gives them the motivation they need to follow him.

This passage reminds me to commit every area of my life to God. Not just my sexuality, also my finances, my job, my marriage, my spirituality, and my parenting. This is the best way for me to offer my daughter a brighter day. A personal commitment to God and a daily commitment to God so that like Abraham I will never forget where my hope of a better day comes from.

Lost Choices

Have you ever lost a choice?

I had a bit of a drive yesterday, about 7.5 hours or so. It took us 8.5, well because we have a four year old and she needs some play time here and there. While we were driving I was listening to an audio book called “The Lost Choice.” It is an interesting fictional take on different accounts of history. There are these relics that seem to be helping people accomplish great things. One that has inscribed on it, “By your hand the people will be fed.” It just so happens that George Washington Carver had this relic throughout his life as he discovered the uses for peanuts and helped Gandhi feed India. The real point of the book is; the choice of the individual is what is required for any of these things to really happen. Carver would ask a person before he put the relic around their necks, “Will you commit to do something significant with your life?” If the choice to do the good thing is not made then it is considered “a lost choice.”

In Gen 16 Hagar runs a way from Sarai who has mistreated her, whatever that means, and God comes to her in the desert. He tells her of the son who is in her womb. While he does promise her that from him will come a great nation, the actual life of the son doesn’t sound like that much of a picnic. He will be like a wild donkey, he will be against everyone, and everyone will be against him. Many historicists have traced his line and the line of Isaac to the fighting that is still going on in the Middle East today.

Sometimes it seems that God gives great promises about the lives of those he is predicting. And other times it seems as though he is just telling the future and what will happen in the life of that person. God knows the end from the beginning. So he knows what a certain person will do in their lives. He also gives us free will so what happens in our lives might be according to his will or it might not. So the wild antagonistic life of Ishmael has more to do with his choices than with God’s promise or prediction. God is simply telling Hagar how it will be based on the choices that he can see Ishmael making.

What would God have to say about my life? He can see where it is going as well. So what will my choices lead to? If I had a relic hanging around my neck that said, “by your hand the people will be fed, or free, or saved.” Would they really?

Hagar calls God in this passage, “The God who sees.” What does he see for my life? What does he see for yours? Whatever it is it depends on our choices. So what will we choose today? Will we choose to do something significant in our lives and will it be for the good or for evil? Will our lives move forward the will of God or will God do a lot of correcting and plan b’s because of the choices that we make?

I am not perfect and I’m guessing neither are you, so I thank God for plan b’s. But I also want to choose today to live according to God’s plan. By his spirit and his will moving in my life I pray my choices for today will not be lost ones. What about you?

Rescuing our families

Do you feel like you have been trained for anything significant in you life?

When I was quite young, probably 6 or 7 we went to Pacific Union College's church for a visit. We must have been visiting my great grand parents or something. I don't remember that far back very well. But I do have the image of the pipe organ in my mind. It's a massive pipe organ. It was the biggest instrument that I had ever seen. I told my mom that I wanted to play a pipe organ some day. She informed me that I would need to take piano lessons first. I didn't really want to play the piano, but if it would get me to the pipe organ then I was OK with that.

I started taking piano at the age of 7. My mom found a picture of the P.U.C. pipe organ and taped it to the piano so that I would have it there for inspiration. I was really pretty good at the piano. Mom would have to force me to sit down to practice sometimes but once I was there I could play for hours and enjoy it.

In high school when ever things weren't going well and I just needed some alone time I would wonder up to the practice rooms and play, just play. It soothed me and it was great with the ladies as well. No teenage girl could resist a guy playing "Right here waiting" by Richard Marx on the Piano.

When I got into College my piano interest lessened. I just wasn't that into it any more. And soon I stopped playing. I can still play some and I can pick up a piece of music and work through it. Some of the old stuff comes back pretty quick, but I'm not recital ready any more.

Gen 14 is about a battle. What does piano have to do with a battle, not a whole lot. But the training has a lot to do with it. Abram's nephew Lot is carried off in the spoils of battle. A pretty epic battle really. 5 kings against 4 kings is a pretty epic battle in my book. Abram gets the message that Lot has been carried off. So he gathers together his 318 trained men in his household. Now Abram doesn't have any sons yet, but with in his household, his herdsman and servants and such, he has 318 trained men. Trained well enough they could go on a rescue mission at the drop of a hat. Together with a couple of other allies Abram goes after these 5 kings. He over takes them and routes the whole army, rescuing not only Lot but all the other men, women, and children that have been taken as plunder.

Do you ever think of Abram as a warrior? I don't usually but here he is racing off to battle with 318 trained men from his household. To live in a day when training for battle is a necessary part of life is just not something that makes sense for many of us today. We are trained in business, computers, psychology, engineering, music. Very few of us are trained for battle. Which is OK I guess. I am glad I don't have to chase down bandits and armies on a regular basis. But the bible does say that we are at war.

It's not flesh and blood that we fight against, says Paul in his letter to the Ephesians, but the powers and authorities of darkness and evil in this fallen world. Are we trained to fight in this battle? Are we on a rescue mission for others in this world? I think about this and get inspired to join up with a cause like International Justice Mission saving kids from the sex trade or something. And these are good causes to be apart of. But then I look at this passage about Abram saving Lot and I realize that he is doing this to save his own family.

Do I, do we fight for our own families? Are we trained to fall on our knees in prayer and fight the powers of darkness for the hearts of our loved ones? I am just learning how to do this myself and I would like to encourage you too as well. Let's rescue our loved ones, let's be trained for battle so that at the drop of a hat we can not just play a recital or fix a computer error, but rescue someone from darkness.

If you would like to join me in this, I invite you to read John Eldredge's books "Walking with God" and "Love and War." You can also get a little more info on it by listening to one of my recent sermons on the Lords prayer where Jesus teaches us to pray against temptation and the evil one.

http://pleasantvalleychurch.adventistnw.org/podcasts/66/media_entries/7978

Let us be ready in and out of season to rescue the ones that we love.