From the lakehouse to an apartment, grrrrrrrrr!

Do you ever feel short changed?

I had plans for my life when I started college. I had plans to get a good high paying job. I had plans to go into counseling where I could make $90/hour, build a nice house on the lake, and have all the toys I or my family might desire. I had plans. I was still going to minister to people. I was studying to be a christian counselor. I even wanted to volunteer a day at my local high school and get colleagues to do the same. Kids need a counselor their parents don't have to pay for and don't have to know about. I had plans.

Then as Mike Yaconelli says, "Jesus ruined my life." God changed my plans. He called me into pastoral ministry. I accepted it wholeheartedly. It was just what I wanted to do. I wanted to preach, I wanted to counsel people, I wanted to call people to follow him. The one part of my heart I held back was the financial part. I still wanted to house on the lake, all the toys, and life at a certain level of comfort. The whole $90/hr was out of the question.

In Genesis chap 23 we find Abraham in morning over the death of his wife. He wept at her bedside. He truly grieved the loss of the woman he loved. Then he went to honor her memory with humility and financial integrity. He approaches the elders of the land and asks to buy a burial place. They reply, "No, no you are a prince among us simply bury your dead." But Abraham bows lowly and insists that he be allowed to purchase land and now a specific piece of land. The owner of the land says, "don't worry about paying for it, simply bury your dead." But Abraham bows again and insists again. The man gives in and tells him the current market value for the land and Abraham buys it for that price.

God has promised this land to Abraham and his decedents. It will all belong to his family someday. But he will not take it as a handout before the time is right. Instead he insists on financial integrity and purchases the land. There can be no depute on his honoring of his wife's memory or his financial dealings. There were plenty of witnesses present to confirm the transaction.

I often find myself looking for the "deal." I sacrificed my financial plans for God's plans right, so he and the rest of the world owe me a deal. This is crazy thinking but it's what goes through my head. Abraham was offered the deal, the FREE deal. He didn't have to pay for the land he could simply use it for what he needed. But Abraham recognized the amazing provision that God had blessed him with and he purchased the land for market value with full financial integrity and gratitude to God for what he had given him.

God has blessed me also in wonderful ways. I can support my family. We always have food on the table and we have a roof over our heads in a place we feel safe with for our daughter. We have health benefits and vacation time. God has blessed us in amazing ways.

My prayer today is for God to help me stop looking for the "deal" and give me a heart of gratitude and financial integrity with what he has already given me. He has been so good to me in spite of all my best laid plans.