How fast do you swing spiritually?
It's amazing to me how in one day I can swing from one end of spiritual high to spiritual low. Today was our day alone with God. So I got up read my bible prayed and then headed for a walk on the beach. A long walk on the beach. I was listening to John Eldredge's book Way of the Wild at Heart. In this book John describes the different stages of the masculine journey; beloved son, cowboy, warrior, lover, king, and sage. I was on the chapter where he talks about the king stage of life. This is the place in life where a man receives his kingdom.
When we were created by God in the beginning we were created with the intention that we would rule this earth. We would be the stewards, we would take care of things here for God (Gen chap 1&2). But we gave our reign up when Adam decided to follow Satan instead of God. Part of God restoring us is he is giving us back the kingdom he intended for us. It is a natural thing for a man to come to the place where he receives a kingdom to serve as ruler. This might come in being promoted at work, beginning to pastor a church, having a family. There are many different realms for this stage.
John goes on to say many men are wounded at kings, it might be beat out of them, maybe they were never given any responsibility growing up, or maybe they were given responsibility too much too soon. If dad left or was absent a young boy might have been made the man of the house too young. Any of these wounds might lead to a man not being able to be the king he is meant to be. We might have a kingdom only to use the spoils for ourselves or we might just not take responsibility at all afraid we will mess it all up. At times like these we might find we have disengaged from the kingdom God has given us.
So John calls men to rule, step up and serve your kingdom, don't let it flounder, don't just hoard the spoils for yourself, get up, get engaged, and serve. I got all excited about this. I have had some rough times at church lately with some criticism and other things. My mind has wandered a little to what might be next in my future. But God has placed me here and given me this kingdom to serve in, so I need to be a king here and now.
I started making plans and visioning for the future. We are going to set the students free to live, its going to be great, its going to be exciting and I am ready to go for it. I was walking so fast along the beach in my excitement I almost missed the most amazing tide pools. Then the tide pools and the life teaming in them jumped right into my vision as well. God wants us to be so full of life. YEAH!!!
I get done with my walk, I go find something to eat, my endorphins go back to normal, and I crash. I had this great vision, I am trying to write it down and make it great. It's just not working. The ideas are there and they are still good, but the steam is gone. I came back to my room, prayed through it, and fell asleep.
How do we go from the highs to the lows so quickly? Job is going through the same thing in chap 29. He is remembering the days when life was great. He would walk into town and everyone would be cheered by his presence. They would listen to what he had to say and find joy when he would show up because he would always offer his help. He took care of the poor and the widows, he gave to those who had need, he fought for the oppressed. He comes to the place where he says he remembers those days when he enjoyed an intimate friendship with God. Where he is now the friendship seems to have gone.
Job had lost his family, his livelihood, his wife, he lost it all and he was feeling the darkness. I lose my endorphins and I feel like I'm in darkness.
God is still there though. God is still here now, he still is my friend. He is the one who made me his friend, he is the one who called me to serve this kingdom. I am glad to have his promises in these times when I don't have the endorphins any more. I know God is still here and I know he will go home with me.
I also know he is already setting students free. He has let me be part of this amazing vision already and he will continue to make it happen through the highs and lows. I lost two student leaders tonight. They are burned out and engaged in other things. I understand and I accept it and I love them deeply. It's sad, I will miss them. I know God is still with them and he is still with me. God is setting us free and he will continue to do so for me and for all my student leaders, both those who go and those who stay.
For good or for bad, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part God is there. And then after death he is still there and we are still his friends each day growing closer and closer, more and more intimate.
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