Darkness turned into a reason to believe. (John 1)

Why don't you believe?

I am drawn to the book of John. I always have been. I never really understood why until today. I think it is because of John's emphasis on belief, which is tied directly to my struggle with doubt. So many times in my life I have been unsure whether or not I believe in God. Does this whole thing really make sense. Because of that struggle I often see faith or belief as a very mystical thing. I tend to read the Gospel of John as a very mystical book. So other worldly and beyond understanding...so mysterious and ethereal. The strange thing is...John doesn't write this way about belief at all.

In John chapter 1 there is all this seemingly mystical stuff about the word being with God in the beginning and being God in the beginning. Then there is this light that comes to darkness and then the light/word comes to "his own," which is the "world" by the way. They whole world not just those going to synagogue or church every week. The fullness of God and all creation are in Jesus and he makes his dwelling among us. Jesus moves in to the neighborhood. Then John, the author, points out that John the baptist is here to testify about Jesus so that those in the world will believe. If they do believe then they will become the children of God. Ok this all sounds rather mysterious and ethereal.

But John goes on to anchor it all down. John the baptist is told that the one he baptizes who has the Spirit of God descend of him is the messiah. Well Jesus is baptized and down comes the spirit. Then Jesus is cruising along collecting disciples and Phillip goes to find his brother Nathaniel. Jesus tells Nathaniel that he was sitting under a fig tree before Phillip found him and Nathaniel all of a sudden declares his faith in Jesus. Jesus laughs a little at Nathaniel's expense..."You believe because I told you which tree you were under, you will see much greater things than this. You will see angels ascending and descending on the son of man."

Now all of these proofs for belief are rather ethereal in nature, but they are presented as logical proofs. People were told things which then come true. They are offered concrete observable phenomenon to give evidence to their faith. John's whole premise for writing it that the people who read his words might believe. He is presenting signs of evidence.

There are many different reasons for doubt. God doesn't show up when we ask him too. According to John the darkness just didn't understand the light. There are lots of things we don't understand because they are so other than us. Which is where my struggle came in. I choose not to understand because my sin what so other than the light. I didn't really want God to exist because then I didn't have to keep my self in check morally if there was no God. But God saved me from my addiction anyway and my own life became the greatest evidence for me to believe.

I don't know why you don't believe in your moments of doubt. I don't know what it is in your life that is so dark that you just don't understand the light. But I invite you to let God shine in, because he has some evidence in mind for you which you probably just don't understand right now. I still argue with God about his reality and my belief, but he can take it. I still stumble in sin but he still forgives me and low a behold I have yet another evidence to believe.

May God get through to us today...may he turn our darkness into light and give us the very evidence we need to believe.