What did you eat today?

Have you ever found God hiding in a Jack cheese and chicken taquito?

Ok, today has not been the healthiest for me so far. This is something that I am still working on. It started off pretty good with a V8 before I left home to take Lorelai to preschool. But as soon as I hit the car it went down hill. It started with a few mike and ikes, then progressed into a half hot chocolate and half espresso from 7/11 followed with two jack cheese and chicken taquitos also from 7/11. This amazing diet has been followed by some "fun" time in the restroom and a little bit of caffeine head and typing skills. This morning has also consisted of putting on some blue jeans and a black Andrews University t-shirt with the words Seek, Affirm, Change written in bold white letters, and a conversation with a very talented church member who is really into video. He sees the possibilities of so much we could do with video ministry here in our church if we just had a little money, OK a lot of money starting with about 75,000. But that is pocket change to some people.

Jacob is getting ready to run away from Esau in Genesis chap 28, so that he doesn't end up dead. Isaac calls him in and tells him to go find a wife from his mother's family and offers another blessing on him for the promise given to Abraham to be carried out through Jacob's decedents. Jacob sets off for the journey to his uncle Laban's house. He stops for the night and chooses this really comfy material for a pillow, a rock, and lays down for a "good" night's rest. During this sleep number rest he sees a stair case going up to heaven with angels going up and down it. He gets a vision of the LORD and hears directly from God that he will be blessed as a great nation. He wakes up to realize God was there where he didn't expect him to be.

This is where we find out that Jacob is on his spiritual journey as well as his find a wife journey. He is surprised God is with him in this random place and he puts out a test of faith. He tells God, if he will provide for his food and clothes on this journey returning him safely to his father's house then Jacob with consider the LORD to be his God.

This reminds me of the journey I went through testing my faith. Deciding for myself if this whole God thing and Jesus thing was for me and not just my parents or my church. And I am reminded as well of the conversations that I have been having with students recently as they are also looking to see if the LORD with be their God.

I can now honestly look back at things like food and clothing and recognize in them the presence of God. Its a strange transition and I don't know exactly when it took place. I went from everything is provided because we work for it we get money we buy food and clothes to God is here in my Andrews University t-shirt, blue jeans and taquitos. But I did, I have come to recognize God as my provider. I have come to the place in my faith where I claim that every good and perfect thing comes from my father in heaven.

I don't know where you are on your journey right now. I would invite you to open your heart up to the possibility of God being present where you lay your head down to sleep tonight, in the provision of the converse you are lacing to your feet, the taco bell you have for lunch, and that sweet vintage tee you pulled over your head this morning. You might just be surprised in the places God shows up.

I hope today will be the day you can say the LORD is my God. The LORD is the translation for Yahweh, the is the God who is near, the God who is with us. The God who became us when Jesus put on flesh. I hope today is the day in your journey you begin to realize that Jesus is your God. Not just the God of your parents or teachers or preachers. But your God.

Why are we such a mess?

Have you ever tried to work out God's will your way?

I went to my new found guy's fellowship yesterday morning. We meet in a weight room and kind of work out and more just try to push each other on in strength. Sometimes this comes through mocking sometimes with a little friendly competition and always with prayer. So yesterday someone came up with the bright idea of us doing an "I go, you go" thing. We started with pull-ups which I am really not that proficient at. I used be be much better at them in my younger and lighter years. I might get one or so every round. Then we switched to push-ups. I am a little better at push-ups. I didn't know it before we started, but it turns out that I am. We "I go, you goed" until I got to 100 push ups. I was feeling pretty darn good about it yesterday. I was feeling a little glory it in, I even put it up on face book. But let me tell you today...my body is a mess. Soreness in all kinds of places. I have more muscles in my chest and arms then I knew was possible. I definitely pulled something between my neck and my shoulder on those pull-ups.

Why are we such a mess? Why do I hurt like this after feeling so good about an accomplishment? Don't get me wrong I would still do it all over again, but man do I hurt today.

I am reminded of the mess of humanity when I read through Genesis 27. It's time for the Father's blessing, which almost seems to have supernatural powers in the minds of those in the story. I think it has more to do with the will and testament of the Father. He is putting one of his sons as head of the household and giving him the farm - literally speaking. Rebbecca hears Isaac saying to Esau, "Go out get me some wild game, make me food just the way I like it and I will give you my blessing, I am about to die." She quickly gets Jacob and sets up this crazy, messy deception so that Jacob will get the blessing instead. This has been predicted at their birth so Rebbecca is just trying to help it along.

They go through the motions, Jacob steals the blessing, Esau is ticked "consoling himself with the thought of killing Jacob," and Rebbecca tells Jacob to run away. Essentially Esau gets the farm. It seems really pointless. Now we know God goes with Jacob and blesses him and he becomes Israel and all of that, but it is a really messy way of getting there. It just makes me wonder what would have happened if Rebbecca had let God work it all out instead of doing this deception thing.

Here is the thing I am grateful for in all of this. God still works in the midst of our mess. Even though my body feels like a mess today. God has designed it in a way so this pain can actually be part of making my muscles stronger. I may be able to do 120 push-ups next time or maybe even two pull-ups a round. And even though Rebbecca and Jacob made a mess of things, God is still there to guide them through. He will train this young warrior Jacob to be the man he is to be through the hard knocks he inflicts on himself and God will keep his promise.

So whatever mess you have found yourself in today, or yesterday, or for the rest of your life, remember we have a God of the incarnation. Jesus who not only is dealing with our mess, but entered into it. He didn't just set this world a spinning and then step back to watch us all fly off. He keeps us going day by day and enters into our mess!

Comfort at home

Is your home a safe place?

I was watching this crazy show last night called hoarders. Have any of your seen this? They find these houses that have come to these crazy places of not just clutter but strait up floor to ceiling piles of garbage, it might look ok at the top of the pile but by the time they get to the bottom we are talking bug infested garbage. One of the houses they showed last night was so bad there was no access to food or bedroom. Child services gave then five days to get it cleaned up before they would be prosecuted for neglect. One of the kids made the statement ,"I just don't even want to come home." home was not safe for them. There are many reasons way home may not be safe. There may be abuse going one there maybe too much work to do and becomes a stress hazzard. For my family over the last couple of years it had been marital tension. I remember talking to one of my pastor friends and he told me when he made the mind set change to think of home as a sanctuary it became so. I didn't really understand what he meant.

In gen 24 we have the story of Abrahams servant going to find a wife for Isaac. It really is an amazing story of prayer and answers to prayer and I recomend that you read it. But the part that struck me was they very end of the story. The servant returns with Rebecca and Isaac sees them approaching from the field he is working. Rebecca gets off of her camel and veils her face. Isaac then takes her into his mothers tent and the partake in their new marriage. Then scripture says that Isaac took comfort in Rebecca because of his mothers death.

Rebecca was a safe place for isaacs grieving heart. He reached out to his new wife and trusted her finding consolation for his pain. What I discovered in my own marriage was if I actually reached out to my wife then home was a sanctuary. I had become so self dependent that I had closed muself off to the one who wanted to care for me the most. When I opened up to the care that she wanted to give me and became honest about my need my home has sense become a sanctuary. It didn't happen over night for me I and am still learning to trust and ask for help when I think I should be able to do it all on my own. But there is a remarkable difference in the safety in our home every time I do.

My encouragemnt to you today is not to live life all on your own find others you can depend on and take the risk of reaching out to them you might just find out that home can be a safer place after all. And if the people at home really aren't safe or there is no one else at home. Find a community that is, because as scripture says it's not good for man to be alone. Believe or not I would suggest looking at church or even better a small group.

And here is a shout out to my own band of brothers, Greg, Stephen, and Les with out brothers we would perish!

Thirsting for Mountain lakes

Have you ever been thirsty, I mean really, really thirsty?

I don't back pack a lot. I have a back pack in my closet and I don't think that I have done a serious trip sense I bought the back pack in my closet. But I have memories of great back packing trips. What I remember most about them is the desperation for the lake at the end. I really don't like to back pack if there isn't going to be a lake at the end of the hike. I love water, I feel like the most alive times of my life have been on or in the water. So if I am going to do something like back packing, requiring great amount of effort, I really want the goal to include some water! And the truth is by the time I get there I feel like my whole body is thirsty. Have you felt this? Do you know what I mean? Its not just a parched dryness in my throat its my whole being crying out to jump in that lake! The water just beacons to me, here I am cool and refreshing ready to restore you and give you life.

Genesis 26 is all about wells. It really is. Every place that Isaac is forced to move (because he has followed in his Father's footsteps and lied about his wife being his sister, until they get caught making out by the king) the new settlement is around a well. he opens up wells Abraham dug and the philistines filled in. His people and the other people quarrel about new wells he digs and finally he digs wells that he is able to use and live from. He names each of the wells depending on what happens around them. I particularly like the one that he names "room" because their is no quarreling over this one and his people have room to live there.

Life really has been centered around water for a long, long time. Whenever there is a new settlement, town, or even a successful homestead they are build with water very close by if not in the town itself. We cannot live without water. Some crazy amount of our bodies are made up of water. So it makes sense to me the way my whole body seems to thirst for water at the end of the back packing hike for the day.

Jesus says to the Samaritan woman that he meets at the well. "I am the living water, whoever comes to me will thirst no more." Jesus is claiming to be the source of spiritual life. He is the one that our souls are thirsting for. Have you ever felt the thirst of your soul, when you seem to be parched inside you have nothing left to give making it through the next day just seems impossible? Jesus is the water that can quench your soul. He is the room in which I need to live.

When all the business of life comes down on me, all the concerns of the things I must get done. The things I must do if I don't want to fail. I am encouraged to find room to rest and to live in Christ. To stop and slow down the pace realizing the most important things will be carried on.

Are you parched in life today, do you need room to live? I would suggest sitting down long enough to take a deep drink from the well of life. Spend some time soaking up God. Really read his word, soak it in, really breathe in the Holy Spirit in prayer. Drink from the well that will satisfy. Drink in Jesus. If you haven't before then just give it a try today.

Honoring our Father

Have you ever come back to a place you thought your would never go?

I have pictures on my computer of a birthday I missed. It was Grandfather's 75th or 80th birthday I can't remember for sure. I wasn't there but I have the pictures anyway because we are attempting to make photo books of the years. I look at those pictures and I see people in them that I haven't seen for a while. People that had kind of disappeared from the family. A couple of cousins who really had not been around for a while. They just started reconnecting again. There are also grandchildren and separated aunts and uncles who have all come together under one roof again. It seems like a strange combination of people to a certain extent. Marriages no longer together, but the partners still coming together. This group is there for one reason. To honor my Grandad. To honor their Father. To celebrate his life.

Gen 25 has the story of Abraham's death. It is very interesting to me to see that both Isaac and Ishmael are there to bury their father. Isaac who is the promised one, the one whom all the inheritance has been given too. It is no surprise that he is there. But Ishmael, the one sent out into the desert. The one almost left under a bush to die. Ishmael is there as well. He isn't going to get any inheritance out of this deal. It is very clear what the will and testament of Abraham was. This was the reason Ishmael was sent away. Isaac is the only one getting the inheritance. Even the sons born to Abraham's second wife after Sarah dies aren't getting any inheritance although they were given send off gifts, which is more that Ishmael got. Those sons aren't mentioned as being there for the burial.

So why does Ishmael show up? Why does he come back to this place that he has been banished from? Apparently he comes to honor his Father. Even though Abraham sent him away. He comes back to bury him. He comes back to show Abraham honor.

I think about church sometimes. There are weeks when I really don't connect to what is happening from the front. The music doesn't hit me right, the sermon just isn't connecting or I am too busy paying attention to my daughter to even hear it. But I have come to honor my Father in Heaven. So many people that walk through the doors of our church come from different back grounds and some don't even really like each other. But here they are together to honor their Father. Some of them have been hurt badly by the church. Administration has done them wrong, they might even have been cast out at one time or another. But they have come back to honor their Father.

I don't know where you are with church, or the people who go to church. I would like to encourage you in whatever season of life you are in to come back to this place you thought you might never go again, not for me or for the other people in the pews, but to honor your Father. Maybe it will be grief that brings you back as it was for Ishmael or those who are remembering 9 years ago 9/11. But whatever it is I encourage you to come back and honor your father in heaven.

The beautiful thing about our Father in heaven is we all get the inheritance of sons. Everyone of us. So come on back home and find the the love of a Father who really does care for you and love you.

From the lakehouse to an apartment, grrrrrrrrr!

Do you ever feel short changed?

I had plans for my life when I started college. I had plans to get a good high paying job. I had plans to go into counseling where I could make $90/hour, build a nice house on the lake, and have all the toys I or my family might desire. I had plans. I was still going to minister to people. I was studying to be a christian counselor. I even wanted to volunteer a day at my local high school and get colleagues to do the same. Kids need a counselor their parents don't have to pay for and don't have to know about. I had plans.

Then as Mike Yaconelli says, "Jesus ruined my life." God changed my plans. He called me into pastoral ministry. I accepted it wholeheartedly. It was just what I wanted to do. I wanted to preach, I wanted to counsel people, I wanted to call people to follow him. The one part of my heart I held back was the financial part. I still wanted to house on the lake, all the toys, and life at a certain level of comfort. The whole $90/hr was out of the question.

In Genesis chap 23 we find Abraham in morning over the death of his wife. He wept at her bedside. He truly grieved the loss of the woman he loved. Then he went to honor her memory with humility and financial integrity. He approaches the elders of the land and asks to buy a burial place. They reply, "No, no you are a prince among us simply bury your dead." But Abraham bows lowly and insists that he be allowed to purchase land and now a specific piece of land. The owner of the land says, "don't worry about paying for it, simply bury your dead." But Abraham bows again and insists again. The man gives in and tells him the current market value for the land and Abraham buys it for that price.

God has promised this land to Abraham and his decedents. It will all belong to his family someday. But he will not take it as a handout before the time is right. Instead he insists on financial integrity and purchases the land. There can be no depute on his honoring of his wife's memory or his financial dealings. There were plenty of witnesses present to confirm the transaction.

I often find myself looking for the "deal." I sacrificed my financial plans for God's plans right, so he and the rest of the world owe me a deal. This is crazy thinking but it's what goes through my head. Abraham was offered the deal, the FREE deal. He didn't have to pay for the land he could simply use it for what he needed. But Abraham recognized the amazing provision that God had blessed him with and he purchased the land for market value with full financial integrity and gratitude to God for what he had given him.

God has blessed me also in wonderful ways. I can support my family. We always have food on the table and we have a roof over our heads in a place we feel safe with for our daughter. We have health benefits and vacation time. God has blessed us in amazing ways.

My prayer today is for God to help me stop looking for the "deal" and give me a heart of gratitude and financial integrity with what he has already given me. He has been so good to me in spite of all my best laid plans.

Desperation for Mutton

When is it that you have felt your greatest desperation for salvation?

Have you ever felt rage just well up inside of you? Have you ever felt the need to just lash out? I don't know if this is something that you have ever had to deal with. In my family rage is part of the generational curse. It has been passed down through the generations. I am so glad my parents were able to find the strength in God to put a major stop to it. They were empowered to take it down a serious notch. Some of it still got through, the nature of sin unfortunately just seems to keep seeping through the cracks.

It has seeped right into me. I haven't ever really been physically violent other than the occasional hold the bully up against the wall episode (see earlier blogs.) But I have lashed out with a little more "truth" than needed to be said from time to time. Its more of a lack of mercy than anything else. Unfortunately I have seen this coming out more sense becoming a parent then before. I feel like such a jerk every time I am short with my daughter. Any time I have rushed her back to her bedroom for a timeout faster than I needed to or given her the evil eye and a growl. It makes me wonder what I might be passing along to her and what part of the family rage might be seeping through me into my daughter.

In Genesis 22 we have a father and son story that is hard to swallow. Abraham is asked to sacrifice his only son. He takes he son up on a mountain, the son carrying the wood he will be burned on. Abraham binds Isaac and lays him on the alter lifting the knife before God speaks again and says, "Stop!" As Abraham looks up there is the ram to take the place of his son. Can you imagine the sense of desperation Abraham is feeling. We know from Hebrews Abraham was believing God could raise Isaac from the dead. But I still don't understand how he could go through with it. The desperation in Abraham's heart for salvation as he raised the knife is palpable.

Then I think about the things I have done in my life. I think about generational patterns of behavior, habits, addictions...sin I have or will very possibly pass down to my daughter. I realize I have have bound my own dear sweet daughter and placed her on the alter deserving...death. I know she makes her own choices and she can over come sins she sees in me. It will not be my behavior in the end causing her need for the savior. But my hands tremble as I type this and my heart becomes weak, as I think of any part that I have had to play in this. I feel the desperation for salvation welling up in every part of me.

My only relief is the ram caught in the thicket. My only hope is my Jesus who died on the cross for me. My only salvation is Jesus taking not just my place but the place of my daughter and the tears of gratefulness come to my eyes. I need this salvation!!! I need the transformation of the holy spirit in my life to save me now from the sin I might inflict on my daughter or others around me. And I praise God for it.

The greatest evidence I know of for God is my own changed life and the continuing change that is occurring daily. I need it so...

Truly God is good and his mercy endures forever. Thank you Jesus for saving me and my dear sweet daughter from my sin and its awful effects. Thank you for being the ram caught in the thicket for us!