The connection of pain

Is pain really the best way for us to connect?

I ran into an old friend of mine today. He told be of a great tragedy that had taken place in his life. It was a tragedy that I could understand because of the things that have happened in my own life. We were on the same page in so many of the different painful things in our married lives. And even though his pain went a step further than mine has gone, we found a sense of connection in understanding one another's pain.

I look back on that conversation today and I see it as a divine appointment. I feel like God brought me to the place and time that I needed to be in so I could connect with this friend. I think this is true, I do think that God brought me here. I wonder sometimes why pain is the thing that connects us. If we really want to get deep with someone then we share our pain. If we want to really know a person, to really understand what is happening in their lives, then we just need to share with one another the hard things that we have been going through in life. These are the moments in which we will find true significance. This seems sad to me, and I wonder if there is a deeper way to connect, is there something deeper than pain?

In Genesis 44 when Benjamin is found with the silver cup in his sack and the brothers go back before Joseph. Judah describes the situation they are in by telling Joseph that their father is so tied to Benjamin, they are so connected life to life, that if Benjamin does not come home to their father is will drive Israel's gray head to the grave. So therefore Judah must take the place of Benjamin as the slave of Joseph.

What ties the life of Israel so directly and closely to Benjamin's life? The answer is pain. Israel lost Joseph and he can't bear the thought of loosing Benjamin the only son, after Joseph, left from the wife whom he truly loved. It is pain that brings them close it is pain that ties a Father's life to a son's. Couldn't there be something more? Couldn't there be something better?

Couldn't love be the thing that draws them near? Couldn't joy be the deeper connection? We say that Jesus understands us because he was tempted in every way that we were. So Jesus gets us because he understands our pain. Jesus connects to us because he took on human flesh and all the pain and suffering that comes with that flesh.

But isn't it true our deeper connection with Christ is his creating us? He made us, he knows us inside and out. Jesus didn't come to this world to understand our pain. Jesus came to this world to bring us back to glory and joy. For the joy that was set before him he endured the cross. Because he knew that we could once again be in full relationship with him in a place where there will be no pain where sorrow and suffering will be no more, this is the reason he suffered and died.

I remember my wife saying to me once that if she didn't feel the guilt tied into the "should" of giving our daughter food she wasn't sure where the motivation to feed her well would come from. I replied by telling her it would come from her love for our daughter. I had a guy ask me once if not believing in ever burning hell lessoned my motivation for evangelism. I replied by telling him that my motivation was not to sell fire insurance to people for their souls, but to offer them life and joy and peace in Christ.

Now I don't want to belittle by connection with my friend today at all. It was a significant thing for us to connect through our mutual pain. And Paul tells us in the letter to the romans if we love sincerely we will weep with those who weep and morn with those who morn. But he also ays that we will rejoice with those who rejoice. I think joy just might be the longer lasting connection. I think Joy might actually be the more significant moment to identify with someone and have our lives tied with theirs. I think this because there is a promise in the end of no more sorrow and no more suffering. Jesus will wipe every tear from our eyes. I don't think when the tears are gone the love and the connection will be gone also. I think it will be greater and deeper.

So may we pursue joy today. May we pursue the deeper connection and the truer moments of significance learning how to share joy, and goodness, and the sweetness of the moments we have in life. For sorrow may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning.

I'm not saying, "don't weep with people." I'm just saying lets be as intentional about finding connection in the moments of joy as we are in the moments of pain, maybe even more so.